By Amanda Doughty, Staff Writer, Emerson College
Let it be known that I understand how lucky I am. I attend a fantastic school full of amazing opportunities. I have an incredible group of friends, and consider myself happy. However, some stupid little things just piss me off, and I really don’t understand why they make me so angry. I’m aware of how petty they are, and anyone who reads this is free to judge me all they want, but I’m going to present my list of grievances anyway.
- CVS only sells staples in packages of five thousand.
o Seriously, what in the world am I supposed to do with five thousand staples? And that’s coming from a writing major who has to take a crazy amount of workshop classes.
o It doesn’t even matter because I ended up buying a new stapler that came with staples, anyway.
- While we’re on the subject of being a writing major, why don’t we get more money in print credits than other majors?
o We have to print over two hundred pages a semester. Five dollars just doesn’t cut it.
o The employees in the Print and Copy Center know me by name. I think that’s a sign of a problem.
- I just want to have my own personal Lee Pelton. But I can’t. That makes me sad.
- My body has this uncanny ability to always suddenly need to pee really badly right when my roommate gets in the shower.
o There is no way I’m going near the common bathroom on my floor. Who knows what’s happened in there?
o Yes, I’m aware that almost all Little Building residents have to use communal bathrooms every time they go to the bathroom, and I pity them greatly for it. That’s just nasty.
- Now that the Max sells cheese sticks, my addiction to cheese has only gotten worse.
o On second thought, this isn’t a grievance. I love it.
- There are an obscene number of good-looking gingers in the class of 2017 and I’m only friends with one of them.
o Actually, though. It’s like they’re a perfect, subhuman race or something.
o Why can’t I be an incredibly attractive ginger?
- My professor changes what he’s looking for every time I talk to him.
o MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLEASE YOU. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
§ That got out of hand. I promise, I’m not in love with said professor.
§ I tend to let things get out of hand a lot. I guess that’s a grievance too.
- The girl’s bathroom on the second floor of Walker Building always smells like something died in there. This was a problem last year, too.
o Really, that place needs to be condemned.
- Emerson Confessional just needs to go away.
- Meanwhile, Emerson Compliments needs to be more prominent.
o Side note, I’ve never gotten an Emerson Compliment. Just saying.
§ But then again, who would want to compliment someone who gets angry over so many stupid things?
§ Can’t say I blame anyone there.
- Jamal isn’t here to make me quesadillas and Philly cheese steaks anymore.
o It’s just not the same when it’s made by anyone else.
o Jamal, on the off chance that you see this, please come back. We all miss you.
- Sentence fragments make me so angry and I don’t know why.
o Just because it’s a creative writing piece is not an excuse to use half a sentence.
- In fact, I don’t really understand why any of these things make me so angry.
- What am I going to do when I leave here and have real problems?
Amanda is the biggest Disney nerd you'll ever meet in your entire life. She also likes food, and tap dancing, and writing...writing's pretty cool too.
Let it be known that I understand how lucky I am. I attend a fantastic school full of amazing opportunities. I have an incredible group of friends, and consider myself happy. However, some stupid little things just piss me off, and I really don’t understand why they make me so angry. I’m aware of how petty they are, and anyone who reads this is free to judge me all they want, but I’m going to present my list of grievances anyway.
- CVS only sells staples in packages of five thousand.
o Seriously, what in the world am I supposed to do with five thousand staples? And that’s coming from a writing major who has to take a crazy amount of workshop classes.
o It doesn’t even matter because I ended up buying a new stapler that came with staples, anyway.
- While we’re on the subject of being a writing major, why don’t we get more money in print credits than other majors?
o We have to print over two hundred pages a semester. Five dollars just doesn’t cut it.
o The employees in the Print and Copy Center know me by name. I think that’s a sign of a problem.
- I just want to have my own personal Lee Pelton. But I can’t. That makes me sad.
- My body has this uncanny ability to always suddenly need to pee really badly right when my roommate gets in the shower.
o There is no way I’m going near the common bathroom on my floor. Who knows what’s happened in there?
o Yes, I’m aware that almost all Little Building residents have to use communal bathrooms every time they go to the bathroom, and I pity them greatly for it. That’s just nasty.
- Now that the Max sells cheese sticks, my addiction to cheese has only gotten worse.
o On second thought, this isn’t a grievance. I love it.
- There are an obscene number of good-looking gingers in the class of 2017 and I’m only friends with one of them.
o Actually, though. It’s like they’re a perfect, subhuman race or something.
o Why can’t I be an incredibly attractive ginger?
- My professor changes what he’s looking for every time I talk to him.
o MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLEASE YOU. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
§ That got out of hand. I promise, I’m not in love with said professor.
§ I tend to let things get out of hand a lot. I guess that’s a grievance too.
- The girl’s bathroom on the second floor of Walker Building always smells like something died in there. This was a problem last year, too.
o Really, that place needs to be condemned.
- Emerson Confessional just needs to go away.
- Meanwhile, Emerson Compliments needs to be more prominent.
o Side note, I’ve never gotten an Emerson Compliment. Just saying.
§ But then again, who would want to compliment someone who gets angry over so many stupid things?
§ Can’t say I blame anyone there.
- Jamal isn’t here to make me quesadillas and Philly cheese steaks anymore.
o It’s just not the same when it’s made by anyone else.
o Jamal, on the off chance that you see this, please come back. We all miss you.
- Sentence fragments make me so angry and I don’t know why.
o Just because it’s a creative writing piece is not an excuse to use half a sentence.
- In fact, I don’t really understand why any of these things make me so angry.
- What am I going to do when I leave here and have real problems?
Amanda is the biggest Disney nerd you'll ever meet in your entire life. She also likes food, and tap dancing, and writing...writing's pretty cool too.