By Abbey Interrante, Editor in Chief, Emerson College
By Anonymous, Contributor, Wellesley College
It wasn’t the first time, but it was my First Time. It wasn’t the first time we’d been naked, or almost. We’d messed around, used our fingers, done things that some people might call sex. When no one in the bed (or the couch, or the back seat of the car, whatever) has a penis, then it’s not always clear what counts as the First Time. For me, though, there was never a doubt in my mind. Until I’d eaten a girl out, I was a virgin. We were making out on her bed, the door wedged shut with her violin case and the music turned up so her grandmother wouldn’t hear us. I took her shirt off and kissed her stomach, sliding my hands from her breasts down to her waist, then hooking my fingers under the waistband of her shorts. I looked up and met her eyes as I unbuttoned them, pausing for a beat before I pulled them over her hips. Breathing in, I kissed lower on her stomach as I looked down. I opened my lips and made eye contact one more time as I let my tongue glide over her. I’d spent more hours thinking about this moment then I’d care to admit. Ever since I was 13 and I discovered the internet, I’d been reading anything I could find about queer sexuality. Between middle school and that summer afternoon when I was 17, I’d imagined over and over what it would be like to have sex with another girl. I was good at envisioning the foreplay—everything surrounding the actual sex. When it came to my mouth on the other girl’s pussy, though, I drew a blank. Would I like it? Would it taste weird? And wouldn’t I just want to get eaten out myself? Wouldn’t it be kind of a chore? Most importantly, how exactly would I go about doing it? Is that the kind of thing you have to discuss beforehand? Or do I just dive down under the covers and go? I almost stopped and asked her whether it was ok. I didn’t want to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, and we hadn’t explicitly discussed sex. Or rather, we’d talked about sex plenty—but never about exactly what it meant for us. At the last moment, though, I just went for it. It probably lasted less than a minute in total, just a few flicks of my tongue before I raised my head and moved on to more familiar territory. She tasted salty and a little sweet, not at all like I had imagined. While I was eating her out she smiled and moaned a little, and a few minutes later she briefly went down on me. I drove home with her taste still in my mouth, feeling like I’d accomplished something. I lost count long ago of how many times I’ve given head since that summer afternoon. The taste is the same, but almost everything else is different. I’ve learned to do more than just flick my tongue a few times, and my stamina has improved considerably. I’ve gone from being a curious, sexually frustrated 13-year-old to an experienced oral-sex enthusiast. Giving head can be dominant or submissive, sweet or aggressive. In general, the longer it lasts the better it is. It can be the main event, or a fun afterthought. There’s something addictive about the feeling of holding every fiber of delicious tension in my mouth, of being able to make her come or keep her waiting with a single arc of my tongue. It’s not a chore, and it’s definitely not boring or gross. When my words aren’t enough, when I can’t articulate the force of my love and affection for her, going down on my girlfriend is the best way I know to show her what she means to me. By Autumn Farrell, Staff Writer, Emerson College
For most of my high school career, I was a dancer. Hands down. I wore sweats and loose shirts to school so I wouldn't take too long in the dressing room. I stopped trying to straighten my hair every morning and let it grow out, easier to put up in a bun so it wouldn't whip me in the face when I practiced pirouettes. My body became an extension of the dance floor, my feet roots that anchored me to the rubbery padding and allowed me to perform with power and grace. Staying after school with my dance company for hours, dripping with sweat and a sense of accomplishment quickly became my favorite past time. Evidently, it was my body's favorite past time as well. I became toned, lean, and confident, beginning to exhibit that dancer's walk we are famed for: back straight, chin up, feet turned out slightly. My acne, which had so long been a struggle for me, seemed to disappear overnight. My frequent bouts of anxiety and occasional panic attacks vanished. I was at an athletic high point, which I took for granted when I quit dance senior year to focus on writing. Over the course of 12th grade, I gained back double the weight I had lost while dancing. My acne returned with a vengeance. My self-esteem plummeted to an all-time low, and as a result, I cut off my hair in a moment of sadness. I didn't even want to look in the mirror anymore. Worst of all, my battle with anxiety resumed, and I spent senior year flooding my body with stress and fatigue. My first semester at Emerson wasn't much better. With the lifestyle change and culture shock of moving from my home in the Southwest to the East Coast, my physical state plummeted along with the rest of my emotional stability. In class one day during a presentation, after a stressful all-nighter I had pulled to prepare, I was hit with a panic attack. Hard. Standing in front of the class, I lost the ability to breathe. My hands became so numb I was unable to move them. My vision grew black. My ears were ringing. I was shaking from head to toe. Rushing back to my dorm after that nightmare, I vowed to make a change. I never wanted to experience something like that again. So, over the course of winter break, I developed a plan to cleanse and heal the physical and emotional toxins that had seeped into my life. A huge part of that plan involved what I like to call joyful movement. I would like to begin by defining movement in a way that doesn’t immediately put people off. The flaw that I find with most exercise articles is that they are often geared towards people who are already active and have a strong motive to remain fit. Even less often are they writing for a college audience. Many college students, even if they were fit in high school, will no longer have the resources in this new environment to develop a daily routine to strengthen and fortify them (as it is the things you do every day that make a difference). For these reasons I’ve come to find a different approach to the way I think about movement, which has physically and emotionally helped me live my everyday life. First, I like to add the word joyful before movement. This helps my mind understand it in another, much more loving way, and helps to prevent any fearful thinking that may dissuade me from staying active. The best way I can describe joyful movement is by using the example of small children. Notice how little kids play freely and happily with one another. They allow themselves to move and explore and dance with no inhibitions. As we grew we lose the lust to romp with our bodies, often trying to replace our memories of recess with more “adult” ways of “exercising.” The problem with these adult exercises is that they often lack the necessary ingredient - which is joy! Without joy, you receive none of the emotional benefits movement can bring you. Yes, perhaps you will become physically fit, but even that becomes questionable when you remove the feeling of happy liveliness: if you aren’t enjoying yourself when you exercise, why would you continue to do it daily? Many college students may try the gym, but find it intimidating, monotonous, or pointless. You may find yourself saying you’re going to run every morning, but if you don’t like running, of course you can’t trust yourself to keep that promise. The key ingredient to joyful movement is the feeling that you are indulging in something that makes you smile. Even as a former athlete myself, college is a whole new territory that requires new rules. Exercise (which is a word I try to avoid, as I feel it carries a negative connotation) is no exception. Unless you are a person that is thrilled by the gym, loves running every day, or plays a sport that you fully enjoy (all completely possible and legitimate forms of joyful movement), this article will hopefully guide you in integrating activity into your emotional and physical wellbeing. To understand why we must move daily, we also must understand why activity is so important. It’s not that sitting all day isn’t a valid way to be living a college life. In fact, it’s no surprise to me that most students sit for a good portion of the day. Our time is taken up by doing homework (most often on the computer or at a desk), chatting with friends and family (usually on a computer), watching TV, playing video games, and attending school... at a desk. Even our jobs mainly consist of sitting behind a desk or standing in one place for hours at a counter. On top of that, our diets experience a massive overhaul, and the chemistry of our bodies has to combat different toxins along with stress. It’s no wonder so many college students experience depression or anxiety that they may have never felt at home. Movement is an integral part of keeping you physically healthy - and, most importantly, emotionally healthy. If you don’t come to a certain visceral peace within yourself, you can’t expect your mental state to be a healthy one. This is my attempt at changing your idea of practicing daily movement to make you FEEL better. Your goal is not to lose weight, clear up your skin, etc. Your goal is to make an emotional difference, which will in turn cause your physical body to reflect the joy you create within you. The logistics of finding joyful movement in an average college student’s life is often the biggest roadblock. The most important thing that I’ve come to understand is not to limit myself in seeking activity. You first must learn what gets your blood pumping and your mind buzzing with happiness or serenity. This is the most difficult step to take, especially for people who have never established a kind of exercise routine or whose only memories of activity are horrific PE classes. Don’t let this stop you. Trust the universe to bring movement to you. I have a set yoga routine that I do every single day, without fail. Yoga is a really wonderful thing that anyone can implement into their lives. People tend to think of yoga as something only really flexible and fit professionals can do. This is completely untrue! What I love so much about yoga is that it is really for anyone. It’s about establishing a constant practice of motion and breathing into your body that calms your mind and rouses your nervous system. Flexibility will come eventually, but until then, you work towards it; you only move into the available space given to you by your muscles. It doesn’t have to be an incredibly difficult and tiring exercise until you want it to be. There is a multitude of free yoga videos online, ranging from advanced classes with yogi masters to beginners stretches to get you started. Personally, I love Tara Stiles. She is a gentle and knowledgeable teacher who does not push past comfort zones in her videos. She also makes videos concerning other health issues, if they ever interest you. This is my daily movement. Yoga makes me smile and I can do it in my room with my computer perched on a chair. If you want to do it at the gym, you can convert the videos to MP3 audio files and listen to them on your iPod. Try to find something you will do every single day. This can be anything, as long as it gets you out of your chair and gets your heart working even a little. Walking is always a good suggestion for college students. You can have a set route you take every day or mix it up each time you step outside; it’s up to you. If the weather is intense that day, treadmills are on option (though personally I’m not a fan). If you like dancing, find a dance workout video online. It doesn’t have to be exceptionally challenging or long. You just need to find that one thing you know you will do every day. After you have established a routine, begin taking small opportunities for movement. Stand instead of sit. Listen to music in your alone time and groove out. Walk instead of taking the T. If you have to sit for an extended period of time, take five minute walking breaks every hour. Shake your legs or cross them. Wiggle your body back and forth in your chair. Go to more dance parties. Explore Boston on the weekends. If your friends want to go out and play in the snow, play with them. If you’re feeling adventurous one day, try a really hard workout! What’s nice about having a joyful movement routine is you can try something that may push you and tire you out once in a while without the dread of doing it every day. You may even find you like it more than what you’re currently practicing and make that your routine instead. Just try to give your body opportunities to do what it does best: move. It may be a bit difficult at first but eventually you will find activities that you enjoy more than others and favor them. Remain hopeful! If you are asking, what if I have barely exercised in my life? This is absolutely perfect for you! This isn’t about exercising. This is about allowing your body to serve its purpose and bringing you closer to enjoying and loving your health and your strength. Show gratitude for whatever physical or mental state you are in now, in this moment, by giving it room to grow. Your body is made by the image your mind creates for it. By caring for your thoughts, you are caring deeply for your body. Autumn Farrell is a short, tea-loving Latina who hails from the poetry, theater, and dance scene in Phoenix, Arizona. She has a stash of horrible smelling herbs in her underwear drawer and is probably the biggest fan of ironic swag rap you will ever meet. If this Gemini can talk to you about astrology she will follow you for the rest of your life. Before she dies she wants to be a famous pole dancer and educate millions on the importance of spiritual wellbeing. By Helen Schultz, Staff Writer, Emerson College
Dear Helen, Hi. Hello. Well. This is you. From the future. And I know that you’ll totally buy into this because we love The Time Traveler’s Wife (even though you won’t admit it). “I hate Rachel McAdams!” Oh please. You worship her. As a freshman in college, I think that there are some things that I should tell you in order to safely get you through the next four years. I know right now you’re probably thinking “hey! I’m doing really well so far! I’m loving high school!” That’s what you think now. Just wait until junior year rolls around. Stuff’s gonna get real. Luckily for you, I’ve deemed you worthy of some tips and tricks that will make the next four years a little less excruciating. Don’t roll your eyes. Believe me – we need this. I was there. I remember. 1. That girl who seems really friendly and super nice and why-doesn’t-she-have-any-friends-she-seems-so-cool is most definitely a drug pusher. You wonder why she always seems to hang out around the basketball court after school. Or how she pays for everything in cash. Or why she smells like a skunk a lot. Steer clear. 2. Don’t cut your own bangs. Especially right before picture day. 3. Not everyone is your friend. Teenage girls are evil creatures who feed upon the souls of their prey and churn out rumors like nobody’s business. If someone is nice to you out of nowhere, they’re not just being nice. They’re probably using you. 4. Facebook will develop a feature called Timeline that will ruin everything.“He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.” “Auditions tonight!!!! Wish me luck!!!!” “Like for a truth!” WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 5. Most people who are jerks in high school don’t turn out so hot. Unfortunately, instant gratifiction is not a part of the high school experience. Sometimes revenge comes further down the line. Don’t worry – when she murders her geriatric husband on a Disney Cruise you’ll know. Dateline won’t let that one slip by. 6. No one is talking about you as much as you think they are... Teenagers are notoriously self-absorbed and are so into their own heads that they probably don’t even notice you. 7. ...Unless they are. Now might be a good time to invest in some really good running shoes. 8. Boys are confusing. They get simpler and easier to understand with age. One day it’s just going to be easy to figure them out....SIKE! 9. Glee is going to tank soon. Admit it – you knew it was coming. 10. Be true to yourself. One day you will go to college and there will be a new game to play called “MY HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE WAS WORSE THAN YOURS!” You’ve got this, champ. 11. You are fourteen. You’re going to have a lot of ups and downs and times when you’re not sure if you should be up or down. After four years, some things are going to seem clearer. Some things are going to be a whole lot more complicated. But you’ll have graduated. You’ll have learned who some of your friends are, and you’re still going to be wrong about some of those. The true friends will rise to the top when you get to college and stuff really gets real. You’re going to write people off and then welcome them back to your life. You’re going to put your trust in people who let you down. You’re going to feel a little lost, a little disappointed, and super eager to get the hell out. And you know what? All of that’s okay. Because that’s what growing up is all about. See you on the other side. Love, Helen Helen has contributed to sites such as Broadway.com and Her Campus and is currently pursuing a degree in Writing, Literature & Publishing at Emerson College. She enjoys long walks on the beach, eating her feelings, and pretending that she's Beyoncé's best friend. By Duncan Gelder, Contributor, Emerson College
I recently came across your article about drag. As a drag queen myself, I was thrilled to read it. And don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fantastic that drag is being talked about as if it is an everyday thing. But I feel that the article doesn’t touch on the many aspects that are integral to the very heart and soul of drag. And without this depth, it doesn’t paint a complete picture of what it means to be a drag queen and what the art of drag even is. First of all, what even is drag? Is a man putting on a dress considered drag? Are you dressing in drag if you’re a transgendered female? Many people assume that drag is simply dressing up as a woman - and frankly, that’s just not true. Drag is not crossdressing, which is when a man puts on a dress once or twice. Drag queens don’t even need to be gay! Drag is when a person creates a character of the opposite gender and performs as this character, whether they’re lip syncing to Cyndi Lauper, voguing down the runway, or even telling dirty jokes for an audience. Drag is an act; it does not mean that these people truly consider themselves female, or that they are using drag to cope with the struggles of life. Sure, drag can be a form of therapy for someone, but so can all other art. Painting a landscape can help artists work through their feelings, but it doesn’t mean that’s why all painters paint. It’s great that RuPaul has done so many great things for the drag queens of the world. She has been truly successful and has lived her dream. But what you see on RuPaul’s Drag Race is just a scratch on the surface of what it means to be a drag queen. Drag isn’t something that is new in our history. In ancient Greece, what did they do when there were female characters in their plays? A man put on an extravagant costume and intricate mask and played the part of a woman. When Shakespeare debuted one of his shows, Lady Macbeth was played by a man in a dress and makeup. All of these people were doing exactly what drag queens do today, which is dressing up and playing a part. Drag hasn’t been suddenly brought to light. No, in fact, drag has been at the forefront of entertainment and theatricality since the performing arts were first being performed. “Okay,” you say, “drag isn’t new. But so many drag queens been bullied and harassed throughout history as well!” And of course, you make a completely valid point. However, this less about them performing in drag and more about the societal pressures regarding homosexuality. At some point in time, our society determined that dressing like a woman meant that you were gay. And many of the major players in the drag world were, in fact, gay, as the act of drag allowed them to come to terms with and explore their gender in an artistic way. The campiness and extravagance isn’t what made them outcasts; it’s the idea that a man would enjoy being in a dress that really irked the heteronormative culture of the time. RuPaul was one of these people who wished that they could be accepted for their love of entertaining and performing. But she wasn’t the first. No, she was riding on the coattails of many incredible and inspiring people who built this bridge for her to cross. How many people watching RuPaul’s Drag Race know who Pepper LaBeija is? How about Willi Ninja? Venus Xtravaganza? These drag queens weren’t talking about “serving cheesecake” or “tuna on a platter.” These were people who used every ounce of drive in their body to bring equality and freedom to the many members of the LGBT community who were unable to be who they truly were. Drag became simply one of the forces through which the gay community promoted acceptance and love. Even at this time, drag was used to say “I’m gay, and it’s okay! Look at how beautiful I can be!” RuPaul’s Drag Race is lots of fun, and I too look forward to watching it every Monday night. But unfortunately, it’s reality TV, and let’s face it; reality TV is far from realistic. While there are true life stories of heartbreak on the show, and while it has done great things for the drag community, it isn’t the bible of drag. One of the downsides of RuPaul’s Drag Race is that it has added a layer of cattiness and cruelty that was never a part of the drag world. When they turn queens against each other on the show to create drama and fights, they’re stepping just about as far away from the roots of drag as they can go. Laughing at Serena ChaCha’s bad makeup skills or teasing Mimi Imfurst for crying in the workroom is just a form of bullying. That’s just the result of reality TV looking for good ratings. I was once told that drag queens were just pretty clowns; we paint our faces and we perform. We are entertainers. If we wanted to live our lives as women, we would be transgendered. And the depth of drag that comes from the pain and suffering of the gay liberation movement is simply because of love. Us drag queens do what we do so that we can spread a message through performance art. We’re not doing drag just for ourselves: we are doing drag for YOU. I don't want to come across as a critic or someone who's just looking for a fight. I think it's great that drag is being written about. I just feel like the whole picture isn't being painted, and that the information in the article is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to drag performance. By writing this response, I'm not trying to belittle anyone. My goal is simply to share more of the story and to keep the deep meaning behind drag alive. By Megan Tripp, Staff Writer, Emerson College
On a daily basis I check Facebook anywhere from 8 to 20 times. Between logging in on my computer at work, using it to procrastinate on homework on my laptop in my room, or scanning it on my phone while I wait for my drink to be ready at Starbucks, I probably spend more time on Facebook than talking to people face to face. Whether intentional or not, Zuckerberg started a social media revolution by inventing “The Facebook.” Never before has a generation been so singularly obsessed with each other’s lives. Facebook statuses, tumblr posts, and Tweets have become almost as addicting, if not more so, as tabloid headlines and People’s Sexiest Man Alive issue. So in the midst of all this information that we absorb everyday via social media, where can we hope to find individual identities? Or an identity for our generation? Our generation has been dubbed the Technology Generation and without a doubt we have lived up to our name. But compared to the sixties’ generation of flower children and hippies and the eighties’ generation of gritty consumerism, what mark will we leave on history? Would you want your last Facebook status or Tumblr picture to be left on your gravestone as your legacy? Sometimes I think we’re another Lost Generation. However, instead of being lost as a result of a worldwide war, we are lost as a result of the endless amount of Tweets and statuses and blog posts. We collect and post quotes and song lyrics more than we create our own original ideas, it seems. Are we somehow using the Internet to create a life made up of bits and pieces of other peoples’ lives? It seems that way to me. Whose status we like or blog we follow defines us to the world, and to ourselves. Creating something from nothing and establishing a firm identity both individually and as a collective generation is terrifying. Maybe we attempt to get around that by reading Facebook statuses, and quoting Voltaire and John Green on our blogs, by watching TV shows like “Girls” about someone else’s twenty-something experience. Does this make us another Lost Generation? Perhaps. But, ironically, our generation also seems to be firmly grounded in the idea that we will achieve our long-term, permanent goals . Even those without a solid Emerson-esque career vision want something to come of their lives. It’s very American of us, isn’t it? To want to create lives for ourselves on our own terms, to become people that stand out and do things that mean something in the long run. So have we found ourselves in that aspect? Are we simultaneously the Lost and the Found Generation? That sounds very obscure and hipster of us, doesn’t it? Less like a Hemingway quote and more like a quirky Lena Dunham Tweet. Megan Tripp is a junior WLP major who loves coffee, Gilmore Girls, and sparkly things. Her first piece of writing was titled "Miranda and the Purple Stone" and she is still quite proud of it. By Madelyn Reese, Staff Writer, Emerson College By Rachel Simon, Editor in Chief, Emerson College
In January, Amy Adams received her fourth Academy Award nomination for her supporting role in The Master. This is an impressive statistic for any actor, but when you consider the fact that Adams’ first Oscar nomination, for 2005’s Junebug, was only eight years ago, it’s downright astonishing. Well, at least I think so – in the several weeks since the nominations were announced, I haven’t read a single article that’s given this remarkable feat more than a parenthetical acknowledgement. Critics and bloggers have gone on and on about the significance of Quvenzhané Wallis’ first nomination and Christoph Waltz’ second, but barely any notice has been given to Adams’ incredible achievement. Four nominations in eight years, and yet no one seems to care. What gives? It can’t be that people don’t realize that Amy Adams is talented. Obviously, the Academy recognizes her abilities, having honored her so many times, and in critics’ reviews of her films, her performances are often singled out and acclaimed. Yet for some reason, despite all this, Amy Adams has remained relatively under Hollywood’s radar. This isn’t to say that she’s ignored, of course. When she’s nominated for an award, she’s judged and analyzed just as much as any of her competitors. Yet after the Oscars, unlike many of her peers, any prior acknowledgment of Adams’ acting abilities seems to fade from critics’ memories. Adams is far from the only talented but underrated actor out there – there’s Judy Greer, J.K. Simmons, and Allison Janney, to name a few - but she’s probably one of the most high-profile, which makes her case all the more interesting. Unlike the others, she’s a bona-fide celebrity. People Magazine regularly covers her shopping trips and Red Carpet fashion; on Wikipedia, her page is as extensive as any other A-list star. Yet when it comes to her acting, Hollywood seems to only recognize her for her individual performances, not her body of work as a whole. And that’s a real shame. In fourteen years, Adams has had roles in thirty-two movies, with four more to be released by the end of 2013. To put this in perspective, Tom Cruise has been in thirty-eight films, and he’s been working since 1981. Add in guest spots on ten TV shows, including a recurring role on The Office, and Adams’ career seems unbelievably impressive. In a relatively short amount of time, she has established herself as one of Hollywood’s most talented, versatile actresses, with film roles as diverse as a hardened bartender in The Fighter and a naïve princess in Enchanted. She’s played a nun in Doubt, a blogger inJulie and Julia, and one half of a crime scene cleanup crew in Sunshine Cleaning. Later this year, she’ll be the Lois Lane to Henry Cavill’s Superman in Man of Steel, an iconic role in an even more iconic franchise. There seems to be nothing Adams can’t do, no role she’s unfit to play, and yet to the critics of Hollywood, this hardly seems to register. I don’t believe that this can be blamed on her gender. While there’s no question that the film industry is filled with sexism, other actresses with somewhat similar career paths, such as Maggie Gyllenhaal or Helen Hunt, have received proper amounts of critical attention. I doubt it’s annoyance towards her looks or personality; Adams is as pretty as any other Hollywood actress, with red hair that makes her more distinct than most, and from interviews, she comes across as intelligent and humble. No, the fact that Adams is a woman seems to have little to do with her being underrated. Maybe it’s because of her choice in movies. Despite a career filled with wonderful parts, Adams has made a few poor choices. Over the years, she’s starred in the rom-com flop Leap Year, the Will Ferrell vehicle Talladega Nights, and most recently, the critically panned Trouble With the Curve. Still, the vast majority of her film roles have been impressive, and three bad movies shouldn’t be enough to derail an otherwise high quality career. I think the reason is that Adams isn’t enough of anything. She’s pretty, but in a familiar, girl-next door way. She’s a celebrity, but she’s stayed clear of scandals and the covers of tabloids. She’s thirty-eight, which puts her right in the middle of the two age groups of actresses: the very young and the very “mature.” Her performances are acclaimed, but her Oscar nominations have all been for supporting roles, not leads. Amy Adams, it seems, while perfectly talented, is destined to fly under the radar as long as she continues to keep working and live a normal life. This isn’t a bad thing; like I said earlier, critics aren’t ignoring her, and four nominations is nothing to laugh at. I just wish, though, that she got more recognition for her career as a whole, when after just fourteen years, it’s proved to be exceptional. This article was originally posted on TheReelist.com Taken by Sarah Tedesco, Contributor, Emerson College By Chelsea Roden, Staff Writer, Emerson College |