By Mehak Anwar, Editor in Chief, Isis Magazine
Glossary:
The Day of Silence: A day when students all over the U.S. vow to protest LGBTQ+ bullying by voluntarily silencing themselves for either a portion of or the entire day. The idea behind this is to demonstrate the silencing effect that anti-LGBTQ+ bullying/harassment has on the members of that community.
LGBTQ+ = lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer. The + is inclusive of all gender expressions and sexualities that are not straight/cisgender.
Why should we silence ourselves when we've already been silenced for so long? Many voices in the queer community have taken a critical look at the implications of the Day of Silence and have asked this question. They are skeptical that it has any sort of impact on participants, especially allies who don't identify as LGBTQ+. However, while silencing the silenced to show support may seem like a painful oxymoron, it's important to consider the deeper implications and look at the different ways the Day of Silence could have a positive impact.
A common rhetorical situation people like to use in our society is the "put yourself in someone else’s shoes" scenario. Imagine the person oppressed is someone you care about, and put yourself in that persons' shoes. President Obama even used this line of argument in his State of the Union address when he said: "We know our economy is stronger when our wives, mothers, and daughters can live their lives free from discrimination in the workplace, and free from the fear of domestic violence." He's employing the age-old technique of instilling pathos in his audience, causing the members to feel some sort of sympathy towards women they hold dear. This line of argument is problematic for many reasons (in this case, specifically, it's because importance is being placed on the women based on who they belong to, not based on who they are as individuals. What if I'm not someone’s mom, wife, mother, or daughter? If you can't possess me, do my rights still count?) which is why I think it's important we don't look at the Day of Silence through the same lens. It's not about allies trying to "feel the pain of the LGBTQ+" community or about queer people gaining a sympathy vote.
The Day of Silence, first and foremost, is a mechanism to catalyze reflection and understanding. By spending a day in silence, people who use their voice as a primary tool of communication are undoubtedly reminded of their silence and why they're doing it every time they have an inclination to speak or verbally contribute to a discussion. These reminders constantly lend themselves to reflection. By using an anti-bullying framework to withdraw from discussion for a day, it's natural for people to connect their silence back to their original motivation - standing up against bullying - and it's also natural for people to give bullying some thought. This reflection can lead to some sort of understanding, whether it's something simple like realizing bullying against LGBTQ+ youth even exists and is actually a problem, or something more complex like a personal understanding of how the participant’s own actions may cause direct or indirect harm. However, it's also possible that reflection might not lead to understanding. Like any other campaign to raise awareness, it will affect some people more strongly than others. But also like any other campaign, it will leave a lasting effect. Everyone will reflect, some will understand, and that's always better than a complete lack of either.
Another beautiful thing about The Day of Silence is that it can also be used to show support. In communities that lack of safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and adults (AKA most communities), it can make a huge difference for someone to know who around them is an ally, or even who around them won't bully them. Though participating in the Day of Silence doesn't automatically make people safe confidants or even conscious allies, it can be used as a springboard for discussion, especially by LGBTQ+ folks who may feel there is no one else around them showing friendship, kindness, or even solidarity.
None of this is to say the Day of Silence is the only way to show the LGBTQ+ community support. The point of the campaign is not for allies to feel pride and senses of accomplishment by giving up their privileges to do the LGBTQ+ community a favor. Remember: you cannot call yourself an ally and then casually say "that's so gay" (while some members of the gay community are not offended by this, it's generally offensive to use a part of someone’s identity to dismiss, hurt, or condescend to someone else. It's not "just a phrase," it's perpetuating a culture of oppression). You cannot call yourself an ally and deliberately use the wrong pronouns. You cannot call yourself an ally and silence me when I'm calling your friend out for saying something offensive because my opinion embarrasses you. At best, the Day of Silence is a reminder of all this. There are members of your community who are being oppressed, silenced, hurt, harassed, tortured, and killed for who they are, and before you can take action, you have to actually be aware that it’s happening. Silence your voice for one day, and reflect. The Day of Silence is not meant to further silence and further oppress LGBTQ+ voices, but rather, it's meant to silence everyone together in order to collectively liberate them from violence, stereotyping, and pain.
Glossary:
The Day of Silence: A day when students all over the U.S. vow to protest LGBTQ+ bullying by voluntarily silencing themselves for either a portion of or the entire day. The idea behind this is to demonstrate the silencing effect that anti-LGBTQ+ bullying/harassment has on the members of that community.
LGBTQ+ = lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer. The + is inclusive of all gender expressions and sexualities that are not straight/cisgender.
Why should we silence ourselves when we've already been silenced for so long? Many voices in the queer community have taken a critical look at the implications of the Day of Silence and have asked this question. They are skeptical that it has any sort of impact on participants, especially allies who don't identify as LGBTQ+. However, while silencing the silenced to show support may seem like a painful oxymoron, it's important to consider the deeper implications and look at the different ways the Day of Silence could have a positive impact.
A common rhetorical situation people like to use in our society is the "put yourself in someone else’s shoes" scenario. Imagine the person oppressed is someone you care about, and put yourself in that persons' shoes. President Obama even used this line of argument in his State of the Union address when he said: "We know our economy is stronger when our wives, mothers, and daughters can live their lives free from discrimination in the workplace, and free from the fear of domestic violence." He's employing the age-old technique of instilling pathos in his audience, causing the members to feel some sort of sympathy towards women they hold dear. This line of argument is problematic for many reasons (in this case, specifically, it's because importance is being placed on the women based on who they belong to, not based on who they are as individuals. What if I'm not someone’s mom, wife, mother, or daughter? If you can't possess me, do my rights still count?) which is why I think it's important we don't look at the Day of Silence through the same lens. It's not about allies trying to "feel the pain of the LGBTQ+" community or about queer people gaining a sympathy vote.
The Day of Silence, first and foremost, is a mechanism to catalyze reflection and understanding. By spending a day in silence, people who use their voice as a primary tool of communication are undoubtedly reminded of their silence and why they're doing it every time they have an inclination to speak or verbally contribute to a discussion. These reminders constantly lend themselves to reflection. By using an anti-bullying framework to withdraw from discussion for a day, it's natural for people to connect their silence back to their original motivation - standing up against bullying - and it's also natural for people to give bullying some thought. This reflection can lead to some sort of understanding, whether it's something simple like realizing bullying against LGBTQ+ youth even exists and is actually a problem, or something more complex like a personal understanding of how the participant’s own actions may cause direct or indirect harm. However, it's also possible that reflection might not lead to understanding. Like any other campaign to raise awareness, it will affect some people more strongly than others. But also like any other campaign, it will leave a lasting effect. Everyone will reflect, some will understand, and that's always better than a complete lack of either.
Another beautiful thing about The Day of Silence is that it can also be used to show support. In communities that lack of safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and adults (AKA most communities), it can make a huge difference for someone to know who around them is an ally, or even who around them won't bully them. Though participating in the Day of Silence doesn't automatically make people safe confidants or even conscious allies, it can be used as a springboard for discussion, especially by LGBTQ+ folks who may feel there is no one else around them showing friendship, kindness, or even solidarity.
None of this is to say the Day of Silence is the only way to show the LGBTQ+ community support. The point of the campaign is not for allies to feel pride and senses of accomplishment by giving up their privileges to do the LGBTQ+ community a favor. Remember: you cannot call yourself an ally and then casually say "that's so gay" (while some members of the gay community are not offended by this, it's generally offensive to use a part of someone’s identity to dismiss, hurt, or condescend to someone else. It's not "just a phrase," it's perpetuating a culture of oppression). You cannot call yourself an ally and deliberately use the wrong pronouns. You cannot call yourself an ally and silence me when I'm calling your friend out for saying something offensive because my opinion embarrasses you. At best, the Day of Silence is a reminder of all this. There are members of your community who are being oppressed, silenced, hurt, harassed, tortured, and killed for who they are, and before you can take action, you have to actually be aware that it’s happening. Silence your voice for one day, and reflect. The Day of Silence is not meant to further silence and further oppress LGBTQ+ voices, but rather, it's meant to silence everyone together in order to collectively liberate them from violence, stereotyping, and pain.