I sighed. Rolled my eyes and bit my tongue, I inhaled and counted to ten, willing myself to gain self-control. I don’t consider myself a violent person, but I could feel the rage bubbling up inside of me.
“Hola Mamacita,” he said, winking at me flirtatiously and grinning from ear to ear. His wolfish eyes looked me up and down, a predator ready to go in for the kill.
“Hi Chris,” I responded calmly. I wondered how much trouble I’d get into if I punched him in the face. Chris was one of my coworkers, a fellow lifeguard at the pool where I worked during the summer. After exchanging small talk, Chris found out that my father is from Nicaragua. Ever since then, he greeted me with a variety of winks and nicknames. Ay dios mio, that puto tested my patience.
The frustrating part is, this is not the first time it’s happened. My father is Nicaraguan, and my mother is Irish, so as a halfsie, there are many different nationalities that I could pass for. My light skin and green eyes certainly bring out my Irish ancestry, but my Nicaraguan nose, dark curly hair, and full round lips often clue people in to my Latin American heritage, an aspect of my identity that I am extremely proud to call my own.
September 15 through October 15th is National Hispanic Heritage Month. It’s a time for Hispanics and Latinos in America to celebrate their culture. It was chosen as the starting point because it is the anniversary of independence of five Latin American countries: Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua. I adore Hispanic Heritage month because it’s an excuse for me to brag about my culture and it’s diversity with all its colorful woven dresses and delicious spicy rice dishes. Unfortunately, my culture is not always viewed this way.
Herein lies the problem. As a Latina woman, my culture has become an excuse for men to hyper-sexualize me. I am often treated normally before people find out my cultural roots. Sure, I’m young and friendly, and I’m smart enough to know when someone is flirting with me. But the moment I reveal my Hispanic origin, men immediately begin to sexualize our interactions.
I believe this problem has a lot to do with the media. Latina women are beautiful, but all in different ways. We do not all have the long black hair, caramel colored skin, and voluptuous figures of Sofia Vergara and Penelope Cruz. The media loves to portray Latinas as sex symbols and femme fatales instead of creating complex characters for young women to look up to. But this continuation of Latina sexualization in the real world has got to stop.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been called mami, mamacita, spicy, sexy, muñeca or exotic. I’ve been asked on more than once occasion if my “hips don’t lie.” Men begin to look at me a different way, eye me up and down, wink, raise their eyebrows and shoot me suggestive glances. They start phrases with “Hola” and throw in Spanish terms in an attempt to flatter me. Well news flash idiotas, I’m not flattered. Déjeme sola, por favor.
Mi lengua es para mi. The cultural appropriation has got to end. I’m so sick of white men using Spanish terms and phrases that they don’t understand. Mi lengua no es para ti. Don’t try to speak a language you don’t know just to sexualize a woman.
More importantly, my culture is NOT something you get to use to objectify. I’m a Latina, proud of who I am and where I came from. My culture is bright festivals and colorful artwork. Cien años de soleded y Frida Kahlo. Mi cultura es arroz con frijoles y tres leches. I am from bachata and salsa dancing. I am from islands people, from mountains people, people who are one with the earth and take each day as a blessing.
My culture is beautiful. Yes, beautiful, but NOT sexy or exotic. The moment you hypersexualize me simply because of my heritage, you are reducing years of culture and tradition to a fetish. You are saying that my culture simply exists as a tool for you to get off.
Interestingly, this is not just a problem that I encounter with men. In fact, some of my closest female friends are guilty of hypersexuailzing latina women. I’ve had girls say things like “you’re so lucky you’re Latina, guys find that so sexy” or “I wish I were Hispanic, it makes you so exotic.” It has been so ingrained in our culture that all people, regardless of gender, tend to make this sweeping generalization.
There are still a few days left in National Hispanic Heritage month. There is still time to celebrate the beautiful and rich history of Latin American culture for what it is, not what it has been appropriated as. Take time to review your own actions. If you are a man that has sexualized a Latina women, stop. If you are a woman that has sexualized a Latina woman, stop. If you are a Latina woman, or a woman who has let her culture be sexualized, stop. It’s time for us to change the system. Appreciate a Latina women for her culture, not for her curves. As for me, my days of passively being called mamacita are long gone.
Maddie Rojas Lynch is a writer, adventurer, and explorer obsessed with cats, cuddling, and chamomile tea. She loves learning about other cultures and creating positive change. Her life goals include traveling the world and turning into Beyoncé.