By Terri Bulan, Staff Writer, Emerson College
People say I’m a lot of things before they mention I’m a feminist. This is for two reasons - feminism is more widely accepted than ever, and I’m not in people's faces about my beliefs. Besides, they're more likely to mention how short I am before anything else. A lot of girls that identify themselves as feminists are normally very passionate about the subject and "feminist" would be the first word they would use to describe themselves, but I am not like them in that sense. I too am a feminist, as I believe women are equal to men and that we deserve all the same opportunities as they do, but I am not very vocal about my beliefs. This does not mean I am not a feminist.
I am not radical in my beliefs, but I know that men and women should be able to do whatever they want and be given the same chances in life. Because I am not very passionate about feminism or the movement, a lot of women jump to the conclusion I am not a feminist. Just because I am not as outwardly vocal about feminism as some other women are does not mean I don't share their beliefs.
Women like me who are feminists but do not advertise it choose to act as we do because this is how we feel comfortable showing our feminism. We express our feminism in the manner we want. We may not go to rallies or participate in fundraisers, but we have our beliefs and they are more or less the same as those who choose to express them more. We act out our feelings as we feel is good for us. There is a whole broad spectrum of how passionate feminists can be, so it is perfectly permissible for some of us to be quieter than others.
Some feminists have a very specific idea of what a feminist is. They think that feminist verbally express, very clearly, his/her feelings on women’s rights and must partake in activism that showcases his/her beliefs. Many people have close-minded ideas of what makes someone a feminist. A feminist is anyone who thinks that men and women should have equal rights. You do not only have to be a women who publicly discusses feminism with people on the sidewalk (I’m talking about you, people on Boylston Street with clipboards.) You can be a grandpa and be a feminist. You can be a first grader and be a feminist. You do not have to be a passionate activist in order to be a feminist.
What really ticks me off about being judged by other women about my feminism is when they decide that I am not a feminist and tell me so straight out. Do not tell me this. I know what I am and it is not your job to give me labels or take them away from me.
Why do some feminists tell me I’m not a “true feminist?” I believe that it's because when I am older, I want to get married and have kids, something that some feminists don't believe in. My desire for a family should not give other women the right to tell me what I am. I want to get married and have kids when I am at that stage in my life, and that is my business. It is what I want. Just because my aspirations do not match up with what some feminists think I should want does not give them the right to comment on the type of person I am.
Personally, I do not see how being married and having kids automatically makes you an anti-feminist in the eyes of some people. You can have a traditional lifestyle in the suburbs with a spouse and 2.5 kids and a pet and still be a feminist. There should not be any restrictions and standards in order to think that both genders are equal and deserve to be treated equally. So is my dream of having a traditional family anti-feminist? I’m going to take a wild guess and say no. I want what I want because I want it.
Even though I may not be a hardcore activist, I’m still going to get angry at people who tell me I have no place in the workforce. So if I want to be a mom who doesn’t go to feminist rallies on the weekends or talk about feminism constantly, it is okay. It is acceptable to be a quiet feminist.
Terri Bulan is a Writing for Film and Television major (WTF for short) and a Psychology minor. She enjoys long walks on the beach (seriously), puppies, nutella, & horror movies. Her writing inspiration comes from her intrinsic need to entertain people and thus tricking them into liking her and being her friends.
People say I’m a lot of things before they mention I’m a feminist. This is for two reasons - feminism is more widely accepted than ever, and I’m not in people's faces about my beliefs. Besides, they're more likely to mention how short I am before anything else. A lot of girls that identify themselves as feminists are normally very passionate about the subject and "feminist" would be the first word they would use to describe themselves, but I am not like them in that sense. I too am a feminist, as I believe women are equal to men and that we deserve all the same opportunities as they do, but I am not very vocal about my beliefs. This does not mean I am not a feminist.
I am not radical in my beliefs, but I know that men and women should be able to do whatever they want and be given the same chances in life. Because I am not very passionate about feminism or the movement, a lot of women jump to the conclusion I am not a feminist. Just because I am not as outwardly vocal about feminism as some other women are does not mean I don't share their beliefs.
Women like me who are feminists but do not advertise it choose to act as we do because this is how we feel comfortable showing our feminism. We express our feminism in the manner we want. We may not go to rallies or participate in fundraisers, but we have our beliefs and they are more or less the same as those who choose to express them more. We act out our feelings as we feel is good for us. There is a whole broad spectrum of how passionate feminists can be, so it is perfectly permissible for some of us to be quieter than others.
Some feminists have a very specific idea of what a feminist is. They think that feminist verbally express, very clearly, his/her feelings on women’s rights and must partake in activism that showcases his/her beliefs. Many people have close-minded ideas of what makes someone a feminist. A feminist is anyone who thinks that men and women should have equal rights. You do not only have to be a women who publicly discusses feminism with people on the sidewalk (I’m talking about you, people on Boylston Street with clipboards.) You can be a grandpa and be a feminist. You can be a first grader and be a feminist. You do not have to be a passionate activist in order to be a feminist.
What really ticks me off about being judged by other women about my feminism is when they decide that I am not a feminist and tell me so straight out. Do not tell me this. I know what I am and it is not your job to give me labels or take them away from me.
Why do some feminists tell me I’m not a “true feminist?” I believe that it's because when I am older, I want to get married and have kids, something that some feminists don't believe in. My desire for a family should not give other women the right to tell me what I am. I want to get married and have kids when I am at that stage in my life, and that is my business. It is what I want. Just because my aspirations do not match up with what some feminists think I should want does not give them the right to comment on the type of person I am.
Personally, I do not see how being married and having kids automatically makes you an anti-feminist in the eyes of some people. You can have a traditional lifestyle in the suburbs with a spouse and 2.5 kids and a pet and still be a feminist. There should not be any restrictions and standards in order to think that both genders are equal and deserve to be treated equally. So is my dream of having a traditional family anti-feminist? I’m going to take a wild guess and say no. I want what I want because I want it.
Even though I may not be a hardcore activist, I’m still going to get angry at people who tell me I have no place in the workforce. So if I want to be a mom who doesn’t go to feminist rallies on the weekends or talk about feminism constantly, it is okay. It is acceptable to be a quiet feminist.
Terri Bulan is a Writing for Film and Television major (WTF for short) and a Psychology minor. She enjoys long walks on the beach (seriously), puppies, nutella, & horror movies. Her writing inspiration comes from her intrinsic need to entertain people and thus tricking them into liking her and being her friends.