By Terri Bulan, Staff Writer, Emerson College
There are problems in life that are easily solved and there are those that are not. Pants are one of those complex issues that can be a joy and an absolute pain in the ass. The only thing more painful than having to pay for pants is wearing them.
Over the past two days, I have had no desire to put on pants at all. I would like to disclose that I am not a nudist, but I know the pain of pants. I’ve been lounging around my room in gym short or my underpants because the idea of jeans or even sweatpants is unbearable to me right now.
I don’t know what prompted it, but the other morning I was getting dressed for my class and really wanted to stay in my pajama pants. I still wanted to do my hair and makeup and wear a cute top, but stay in my bright green and pink cotton shorts. I put on a pair of jeans anyways because I didn’t want to be judged by my fellow students, who probably don’t give a shit what I wear anyway.
That hour and a half class was miserable. The only thing I could think about for the whole time was, “When do I get to go back to my room and take off my pants?” The normally comfortable pants I was wearing now seemed to be a prison for my lower body. My ass felt like it was being squeezed by a freaking Olympian weight lifter and my legs were suffocating. My lower back was hurting and I could feel the jeans getting tighter around my body. I felt like I was wearing pants that wear two sizes too small.
As soon as I got back to my dorm I took off my pants in a hurry. I could not deal with them any more. I am fortunate to be female because it’s widely socially accepted for me to wear a dress or skirt when I have days like this. As I reveled in the joy of being free from my cotton/spandex prison, I thought of my male friends. What do they when they don’t want to wear pants?
I’ve had this conversation many a time with my male friends and all of them give me the same answer. They always tell me they suck it up and deal with it then take their pants off when they get back to their dorm. My heart goes out to the men and people of the world who have to wear pants even when they don’t want to.
I’m not trying to start a movement to get men to wear dresses. I like a dude in a fitted pair of jeans because then I get to check out his butt. Dresses on men would not allow me that luxury, so my reason for not wanting to challenge the status quo is purely selfish. Pants will never be a win-win because even though I get to gaze upon the buttocks of the young men in Boston, I’m going to simultaneously be distracted by how much I want to take my own off.
Terri Bulan is a Writing for Film and Television major (WTF for short) and a Psychology minor. She enjoys long walks on the beach (seriously), puppies, nutella, & horror movies. Her writing inspiration comes from her intrinsic need to entertain people and thus tricking them into liking her and being her friends.
There are problems in life that are easily solved and there are those that are not. Pants are one of those complex issues that can be a joy and an absolute pain in the ass. The only thing more painful than having to pay for pants is wearing them.
Over the past two days, I have had no desire to put on pants at all. I would like to disclose that I am not a nudist, but I know the pain of pants. I’ve been lounging around my room in gym short or my underpants because the idea of jeans or even sweatpants is unbearable to me right now.
I don’t know what prompted it, but the other morning I was getting dressed for my class and really wanted to stay in my pajama pants. I still wanted to do my hair and makeup and wear a cute top, but stay in my bright green and pink cotton shorts. I put on a pair of jeans anyways because I didn’t want to be judged by my fellow students, who probably don’t give a shit what I wear anyway.
That hour and a half class was miserable. The only thing I could think about for the whole time was, “When do I get to go back to my room and take off my pants?” The normally comfortable pants I was wearing now seemed to be a prison for my lower body. My ass felt like it was being squeezed by a freaking Olympian weight lifter and my legs were suffocating. My lower back was hurting and I could feel the jeans getting tighter around my body. I felt like I was wearing pants that wear two sizes too small.
As soon as I got back to my dorm I took off my pants in a hurry. I could not deal with them any more. I am fortunate to be female because it’s widely socially accepted for me to wear a dress or skirt when I have days like this. As I reveled in the joy of being free from my cotton/spandex prison, I thought of my male friends. What do they when they don’t want to wear pants?
I’ve had this conversation many a time with my male friends and all of them give me the same answer. They always tell me they suck it up and deal with it then take their pants off when they get back to their dorm. My heart goes out to the men and people of the world who have to wear pants even when they don’t want to.
I’m not trying to start a movement to get men to wear dresses. I like a dude in a fitted pair of jeans because then I get to check out his butt. Dresses on men would not allow me that luxury, so my reason for not wanting to challenge the status quo is purely selfish. Pants will never be a win-win because even though I get to gaze upon the buttocks of the young men in Boston, I’m going to simultaneously be distracted by how much I want to take my own off.
Terri Bulan is a Writing for Film and Television major (WTF for short) and a Psychology minor. She enjoys long walks on the beach (seriously), puppies, nutella, & horror movies. Her writing inspiration comes from her intrinsic need to entertain people and thus tricking them into liking her and being her friends.