By Helen Schultz, Staff Writer, Emerson College
Dear Helen,
Hi. Hello. Well. This is you. From the future. And I know that you’ll totally buy into this because we love The Time Traveler’s Wife (even though you won’t admit it). “I hate Rachel McAdams!” Oh please. You worship her.
As a freshman in college, I think that there are some things that I should tell you in order to safely get you through the next four years. I know right now you’re probably thinking “hey! I’m doing really well so far! I’m loving high school!” That’s what you think now. Just wait until junior year rolls around. Stuff’s gonna get real.
Luckily for you, I’ve deemed you worthy of some tips and tricks that will make the next four years a little less excruciating. Don’t roll your eyes. Believe me – we need this. I was there. I remember.
1. That girl who seems really friendly and super nice and why-doesn’t-she-have-any-friends-she-seems-so-cool is most definitely a drug pusher. You wonder why she always seems to hang out around the basketball court after school. Or how she pays for everything in cash. Or why she smells like a skunk a lot. Steer clear.
2. Don’t cut your own bangs. Especially right before picture day.
3. Not everyone is your friend. Teenage girls are evil creatures who feed upon the souls of their prey and churn out rumors like nobody’s business. If someone is nice to you out of nowhere, they’re not just being nice. They’re probably using you.
4. Facebook will develop a feature called Timeline that will ruin everything.“He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.” “Auditions tonight!!!! Wish me luck!!!!” “Like for a truth!” WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
5. Most people who are jerks in high school don’t turn out so hot. Unfortunately, instant gratifiction is not a part of the high school experience. Sometimes revenge comes further down the line. Don’t worry – when she murders her geriatric husband on a Disney Cruise you’ll know. Dateline won’t let that one slip by.
6. No one is talking about you as much as you think they are... Teenagers are notoriously self-absorbed and are so into their own heads that they probably don’t even notice you.
7. ...Unless they are. Now might be a good time to invest in some really good running shoes.
8. Boys are confusing. They get simpler and easier to understand with age. One day it’s just going to be easy to figure them out....SIKE!
9. Glee is going to tank soon. Admit it – you knew it was coming.
10. Be true to yourself. One day you will go to college and there will be a new game to play called “MY HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE WAS WORSE THAN YOURS!” You’ve got this, champ.
11. You are fourteen. You’re going to have a lot of ups and downs and times when you’re not sure if you should be up or down. After four years, some things are going to seem clearer. Some things are going to be a whole lot more complicated. But you’ll have graduated. You’ll have learned who some of your friends are, and you’re still going to be wrong about some of those. The true friends will rise to the top when you get to college and stuff really gets real. You’re going to write people off and then welcome them back to your life. You’re going to put your trust in people who let you down. You’re going to feel a little lost, a little disappointed, and super eager to get the hell out. And you know what? All of that’s okay. Because that’s what growing up is all about.
See you on the other side.
Love,
Helen
Helen has contributed to sites such as Broadway.com and Her Campus and is currently pursuing a degree in Writing, Literature & Publishing at Emerson College. She enjoys long walks on the beach, eating her feelings, and pretending that she's Beyoncé's best friend.
Dear Helen,
Hi. Hello. Well. This is you. From the future. And I know that you’ll totally buy into this because we love The Time Traveler’s Wife (even though you won’t admit it). “I hate Rachel McAdams!” Oh please. You worship her.
As a freshman in college, I think that there are some things that I should tell you in order to safely get you through the next four years. I know right now you’re probably thinking “hey! I’m doing really well so far! I’m loving high school!” That’s what you think now. Just wait until junior year rolls around. Stuff’s gonna get real.
Luckily for you, I’ve deemed you worthy of some tips and tricks that will make the next four years a little less excruciating. Don’t roll your eyes. Believe me – we need this. I was there. I remember.
1. That girl who seems really friendly and super nice and why-doesn’t-she-have-any-friends-she-seems-so-cool is most definitely a drug pusher. You wonder why she always seems to hang out around the basketball court after school. Or how she pays for everything in cash. Or why she smells like a skunk a lot. Steer clear.
2. Don’t cut your own bangs. Especially right before picture day.
3. Not everyone is your friend. Teenage girls are evil creatures who feed upon the souls of their prey and churn out rumors like nobody’s business. If someone is nice to you out of nowhere, they’re not just being nice. They’re probably using you.
4. Facebook will develop a feature called Timeline that will ruin everything.“He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.” “Auditions tonight!!!! Wish me luck!!!!” “Like for a truth!” WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
5. Most people who are jerks in high school don’t turn out so hot. Unfortunately, instant gratifiction is not a part of the high school experience. Sometimes revenge comes further down the line. Don’t worry – when she murders her geriatric husband on a Disney Cruise you’ll know. Dateline won’t let that one slip by.
6. No one is talking about you as much as you think they are... Teenagers are notoriously self-absorbed and are so into their own heads that they probably don’t even notice you.
7. ...Unless they are. Now might be a good time to invest in some really good running shoes.
8. Boys are confusing. They get simpler and easier to understand with age. One day it’s just going to be easy to figure them out....SIKE!
9. Glee is going to tank soon. Admit it – you knew it was coming.
10. Be true to yourself. One day you will go to college and there will be a new game to play called “MY HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE WAS WORSE THAN YOURS!” You’ve got this, champ.
11. You are fourteen. You’re going to have a lot of ups and downs and times when you’re not sure if you should be up or down. After four years, some things are going to seem clearer. Some things are going to be a whole lot more complicated. But you’ll have graduated. You’ll have learned who some of your friends are, and you’re still going to be wrong about some of those. The true friends will rise to the top when you get to college and stuff really gets real. You’re going to write people off and then welcome them back to your life. You’re going to put your trust in people who let you down. You’re going to feel a little lost, a little disappointed, and super eager to get the hell out. And you know what? All of that’s okay. Because that’s what growing up is all about.
See you on the other side.
Love,
Helen
Helen has contributed to sites such as Broadway.com and Her Campus and is currently pursuing a degree in Writing, Literature & Publishing at Emerson College. She enjoys long walks on the beach, eating her feelings, and pretending that she's Beyoncé's best friend.