By Meg Chu, Staff Writer, Emerson College
The last day I had caffeinated coffee was Saturday, February 18, 2012. Before that point, I rarely drank caffeine – I preferred herbal tea to black tea, and I didn’t like soda. Caffeinated coffee sometimes gave me a headache, but I liked the flavor, so I typically drank decaf. But when the barista at a local coffee shop informed me that they were out of decaf for the day, I told her not to worry about it; I’d be okay with a large regular coffee.
After being handed my drink, I brought it back to where my friend was sitting and began doodling in my sketchbook, sipping coffee every few minutes. After about half an hour of doodling, I noticed my hand was jerking my pen violently across the page, creating zig-zags where I had intended to draw straight lines. I took a deep breath, steadied my hand, took another sip of my coffee, and continued drawing.
The average 20-oz coffee contains about 250 mg of caffeine – at that point, I had consumed about 100 mg. I was drinking my coffee absentmindedly, and in retrospect, I’m not certain why I didn’t deduce that the caffeine had made my hand shake. I think I rationalized that my shakiness had been a result of having been stressed – I figured I was just pathetically overemotional about life and was subconsciously messily doodling to release frustration. Whatever my thought process was, it was idiotic. I’d brushed aside the fact that I was drinking caffeinated coffee, and besides, I’d had caffeine before, so I knew drinking it wasn’t going to kill me. I finished off my first cup of coffee, and minutes later, I’d gotten a second.
Somehow I disregarded the fact that I was even drinking caffeine. I used to go through a couple of cups of decaf coffee per day without a second thought, and it’s not as if decaf tastes different from regular, so I rather carelessly forgot what I was actually drinking. I downed my second cup within the hour, and with the remaining single dollar bills in my wallet, I purchased a third.
The last day I had caffeinated coffee was Saturday, February 18, 2012. Before that point, I rarely drank caffeine – I preferred herbal tea to black tea, and I didn’t like soda. Caffeinated coffee sometimes gave me a headache, but I liked the flavor, so I typically drank decaf. But when the barista at a local coffee shop informed me that they were out of decaf for the day, I told her not to worry about it; I’d be okay with a large regular coffee.
After being handed my drink, I brought it back to where my friend was sitting and began doodling in my sketchbook, sipping coffee every few minutes. After about half an hour of doodling, I noticed my hand was jerking my pen violently across the page, creating zig-zags where I had intended to draw straight lines. I took a deep breath, steadied my hand, took another sip of my coffee, and continued drawing.
The average 20-oz coffee contains about 250 mg of caffeine – at that point, I had consumed about 100 mg. I was drinking my coffee absentmindedly, and in retrospect, I’m not certain why I didn’t deduce that the caffeine had made my hand shake. I think I rationalized that my shakiness had been a result of having been stressed – I figured I was just pathetically overemotional about life and was subconsciously messily doodling to release frustration. Whatever my thought process was, it was idiotic. I’d brushed aside the fact that I was drinking caffeinated coffee, and besides, I’d had caffeine before, so I knew drinking it wasn’t going to kill me. I finished off my first cup of coffee, and minutes later, I’d gotten a second.
Somehow I disregarded the fact that I was even drinking caffeine. I used to go through a couple of cups of decaf coffee per day without a second thought, and it’s not as if decaf tastes different from regular, so I rather carelessly forgot what I was actually drinking. I downed my second cup within the hour, and with the remaining single dollar bills in my wallet, I purchased a third.
Within less than two hours, I consumed 750 mg of caffeine. Before that, in drinking about three cups of decaf coffee per day, I’d consumed no more than 30 mg daily (“decaf” does not mean “caffeine free;” one cup of decaffeinated coffee usually contains anywhere from 5-10 mg of caffeine). For the most part, I felt fine, with the exception of the fact that I had to pee really badly. But when my friend and I packed up our bags and began heading back to campus, something started to feel very, very wrong.
A person usually suffers from caffeine intoxication after consuming roughly 400-500 mg in one sitting. Symptoms of caffeine intoxication include anxiety, insomnia, irritability, and rapid heartbeat. According to the American Psychiatric Association, anxiety and caffeine are closely linked – panic attacks can be triggered after the consumption of 300 mg of caffeine, and large doses can also trigger mania and psychosis.
While making our way back to the parking lot where my friend and I were supposed to meet our ride back to campus, my limbs started twitching uncontrollably.
“I’m so restless. I have so much fucking energy!” I told my friend excitedly. “This is like a fucking weird high. I’m like a rocket or something.” I began walking quickly, skipping and jumping around on the sidewalk. I felt so hyper, as if I had too much energy and couldn’t get it out no matter how much I moved my body. I wanted to do jumping jacks. I wanted to jump on a trampoline. I wanted to sprint a marathon and climb Mount Everest. My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to actually shoot out of my chest. I felt lightheaded, in the most literal sense of the term – it was as if my head had legitimately been filled with air. I didn’t have a skull or a brain anymore; I had a helium balloon attached to my neck. I felt as if it was going to fly off. I had never had that much caffeine in one sitting in my entire life – in fact, that was more caffeine than I’d usually have had in a whole week.
By the time I made it back to my dorm, I had started to panic. I couldn’t get a grip on anything that was happening to me. It was as if I was floating ten feet above myself, watching my body on the ground below. My actions felt sudden and uncontrolled. I didn’t know how to ground myself. It was an out-of-body experience in the worst kind of way. And my head still felt like a balloon, about to fly off and float away from the rest of my body. I’m still not really sure why I reacted so strongly – I guess my body wasn’t used to caffeine, so it sort of overreacted. I was terrified. I didn’t know that could happen to people, and I had no idea what was going to happen to me.
I tried to get to sleep early that night, but as I lay in bed, I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t. My body seemed to simply refuse to fall asleep. “Fucking coffee,” I whispered to myself in the dark.
At ten o’clock the next morning, after getting another cup of (caffeinated) coffee to help me stay awake during the day after a sleepless night, I felt as if I’d been punched in the chest a million times. My heart literally ached, as if it had been worked to the point of exhaustion and was about to give out.
Now, I’ve learned my lesson. When my friends chug energy drinks and coffees to help them get through the day, all I can do is stare in awe. I don’t understand how they can consume so much caffeine and still be okay. Am I just so physically pathetic that I can’t handle it like they can? (Probably.) I know there have been teenagers who’ve died after chugging Monsters, but they all seem so far away, and I feel as if I’m the only person in the world who is afraid of caffeine.
I’m not trying to blame caffeine for my negative experience – really, I blame my own poor judgment. And I don’t judge people for downing a quadruple-shot of espresso right before an 8:00 am class. If I could, I would, too. But I do think people underestimate caffeine. Caffeine is the world’s most popular and widely used drug and is legal in every country. This story isn’t meant to scare people away from caffeine or to preach against its evils – caffeine is a helpful stimulant drug from which people benefit every day, and most people don’t have the physiological reactions to caffeine that I do. This story is more of a lesson in moderation. Nothing should be abused, however unintentionally, to the point of excess. Judgment is key. Don’t be an idiot. The human body is durable, but only to an extent. I made the mistake of thinking I could handle something I couldn’t. I wasn’t as invincible as I thought I was.
Meg Chu is a freshman WLP major from New York. She was born on the day the Metropolitan Museum of Art closed its Origins of Impressionism exhibit, and she enjoys wearing a variation of black and dark grey. In her spare time, she likes running, reading, eating tofu, and complaining about things on the Internet.
Images: Corbis
A person usually suffers from caffeine intoxication after consuming roughly 400-500 mg in one sitting. Symptoms of caffeine intoxication include anxiety, insomnia, irritability, and rapid heartbeat. According to the American Psychiatric Association, anxiety and caffeine are closely linked – panic attacks can be triggered after the consumption of 300 mg of caffeine, and large doses can also trigger mania and psychosis.
While making our way back to the parking lot where my friend and I were supposed to meet our ride back to campus, my limbs started twitching uncontrollably.
“I’m so restless. I have so much fucking energy!” I told my friend excitedly. “This is like a fucking weird high. I’m like a rocket or something.” I began walking quickly, skipping and jumping around on the sidewalk. I felt so hyper, as if I had too much energy and couldn’t get it out no matter how much I moved my body. I wanted to do jumping jacks. I wanted to jump on a trampoline. I wanted to sprint a marathon and climb Mount Everest. My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to actually shoot out of my chest. I felt lightheaded, in the most literal sense of the term – it was as if my head had legitimately been filled with air. I didn’t have a skull or a brain anymore; I had a helium balloon attached to my neck. I felt as if it was going to fly off. I had never had that much caffeine in one sitting in my entire life – in fact, that was more caffeine than I’d usually have had in a whole week.
By the time I made it back to my dorm, I had started to panic. I couldn’t get a grip on anything that was happening to me. It was as if I was floating ten feet above myself, watching my body on the ground below. My actions felt sudden and uncontrolled. I didn’t know how to ground myself. It was an out-of-body experience in the worst kind of way. And my head still felt like a balloon, about to fly off and float away from the rest of my body. I’m still not really sure why I reacted so strongly – I guess my body wasn’t used to caffeine, so it sort of overreacted. I was terrified. I didn’t know that could happen to people, and I had no idea what was going to happen to me.
I tried to get to sleep early that night, but as I lay in bed, I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t. My body seemed to simply refuse to fall asleep. “Fucking coffee,” I whispered to myself in the dark.
At ten o’clock the next morning, after getting another cup of (caffeinated) coffee to help me stay awake during the day after a sleepless night, I felt as if I’d been punched in the chest a million times. My heart literally ached, as if it had been worked to the point of exhaustion and was about to give out.
Now, I’ve learned my lesson. When my friends chug energy drinks and coffees to help them get through the day, all I can do is stare in awe. I don’t understand how they can consume so much caffeine and still be okay. Am I just so physically pathetic that I can’t handle it like they can? (Probably.) I know there have been teenagers who’ve died after chugging Monsters, but they all seem so far away, and I feel as if I’m the only person in the world who is afraid of caffeine.
I’m not trying to blame caffeine for my negative experience – really, I blame my own poor judgment. And I don’t judge people for downing a quadruple-shot of espresso right before an 8:00 am class. If I could, I would, too. But I do think people underestimate caffeine. Caffeine is the world’s most popular and widely used drug and is legal in every country. This story isn’t meant to scare people away from caffeine or to preach against its evils – caffeine is a helpful stimulant drug from which people benefit every day, and most people don’t have the physiological reactions to caffeine that I do. This story is more of a lesson in moderation. Nothing should be abused, however unintentionally, to the point of excess. Judgment is key. Don’t be an idiot. The human body is durable, but only to an extent. I made the mistake of thinking I could handle something I couldn’t. I wasn’t as invincible as I thought I was.
Meg Chu is a freshman WLP major from New York. She was born on the day the Metropolitan Museum of Art closed its Origins of Impressionism exhibit, and she enjoys wearing a variation of black and dark grey. In her spare time, she likes running, reading, eating tofu, and complaining about things on the Internet.
Images: Corbis