By Amanda Doughty, Staff Writer, Emerson College
“Hey, are you married? Because, if you are, I will pay for your divorce. Seriously, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all year.”
Not going to lie, I was a bit taken aback by this stranger’s comment. I’ve been cat called at before, obviously: living near Downtown Crossing and Boston Common means that pretty much happens all the time. But this man was a lot more, well, forward. And that got me thinking about other compliments I’ve gotten from men. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that when men compliment me they tend to get a little bit…creative.
Let’s start with a simple example. I had no idea breasts could be considered “perky” until I went to college, where several times I’ve been told mine are. But that’s nothing. Since coming to college, I’ve been complimented on everything from my pants to my hands to the arches of my eyebrows. I’ve had a friend tell me I had the hips of a sex goddess in an intoxicated state, then later tell me I have “theatrically perfect” breasts in a sober state (I still have no idea what that means). And then, of course, there’s my butt. It’s the moneymaker, the thing that makes people turn around and notice me in the first place. Everyone takes notice of my butt: straight guy friends, not-so-straight guy friends, girl friends, homeless people, even the security guards on campus. Honestly, there are times when I truly worry that people only like me for my butt. Don’t worry though, the one time I brought this up with a guy they proceeded to say, “well that’s weird, because you also have a super cute nose…” so at least I have that going for me.
But it wasn’t just college. Oh no, this started in high school. In fact, this started with the first time I was ever truly hit on. I’d had creepy guys message me on the internet before, but the first time I’d ever been hit on in person the guy told me I “sweat gracefully.” I’m not remotely exaggerating- sweat gracefully. I really wish I was lying on that one. Not only is this a strange way to compliment a person, but it’s also completely false. I’m Italian; my sweat is disgusting. Since then, I guess it’s just been a slippery slope- and one I maybe should’ve seen coming.
The strangest of them all, though, happened in my senior year of high school. I was sitting in a green room before a performance across from this guy whom I’d befriended in the rehearsal process. Caught up in our own mental preparations for the performance, we weren’t really speaking to one another. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he looks up at me and says, “You know what? You’re a really positive, great person…and I seriously hope that the first time you get laid, it’s with this monster cock that knows how to give you a good time.” Let it also be known that the entire cast was in this room, and they all heard it. I’ve never been completely unable to react to something, but I was in that moment. It took me completely by surprise; and, though I know look back on it and life, I still consider it one of the strangest moments of my life.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, is this me? Do I surround myself with strange men, or bring out a weird side in them? Or are men just weird in general? And yet, despite all the weirdness of it, I can’t help but be flattered. I grew up around gorgeous women- my mother, my aunt, and my cousin- and always felt like the plain Jane among them. I never really thought I was anything special. And, though I do consider myself an independent woman, I still think it’s nice to be complimented every once and a while- even if the compliments are a tad out there. They give me a confidence boost. They make me think that maybe I’m not just a plain Jane. I’m aware this sounds a bit vain- like I’m some attention-loving whore- but it’s more than that. It’s okay to love being complimented, I think, because we should all love ourselves. So guys, keep complimenting us- even if you go about it in a really strange way. Deep down, I promise we appreciate it.
Amanda is the biggest Disney nerd you'll ever meet in your entire life. She also likes food, and tap dancing, and writing...writing's pretty cool too.
“Hey, are you married? Because, if you are, I will pay for your divorce. Seriously, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all year.”
Not going to lie, I was a bit taken aback by this stranger’s comment. I’ve been cat called at before, obviously: living near Downtown Crossing and Boston Common means that pretty much happens all the time. But this man was a lot more, well, forward. And that got me thinking about other compliments I’ve gotten from men. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that when men compliment me they tend to get a little bit…creative.
Let’s start with a simple example. I had no idea breasts could be considered “perky” until I went to college, where several times I’ve been told mine are. But that’s nothing. Since coming to college, I’ve been complimented on everything from my pants to my hands to the arches of my eyebrows. I’ve had a friend tell me I had the hips of a sex goddess in an intoxicated state, then later tell me I have “theatrically perfect” breasts in a sober state (I still have no idea what that means). And then, of course, there’s my butt. It’s the moneymaker, the thing that makes people turn around and notice me in the first place. Everyone takes notice of my butt: straight guy friends, not-so-straight guy friends, girl friends, homeless people, even the security guards on campus. Honestly, there are times when I truly worry that people only like me for my butt. Don’t worry though, the one time I brought this up with a guy they proceeded to say, “well that’s weird, because you also have a super cute nose…” so at least I have that going for me.
But it wasn’t just college. Oh no, this started in high school. In fact, this started with the first time I was ever truly hit on. I’d had creepy guys message me on the internet before, but the first time I’d ever been hit on in person the guy told me I “sweat gracefully.” I’m not remotely exaggerating- sweat gracefully. I really wish I was lying on that one. Not only is this a strange way to compliment a person, but it’s also completely false. I’m Italian; my sweat is disgusting. Since then, I guess it’s just been a slippery slope- and one I maybe should’ve seen coming.
The strangest of them all, though, happened in my senior year of high school. I was sitting in a green room before a performance across from this guy whom I’d befriended in the rehearsal process. Caught up in our own mental preparations for the performance, we weren’t really speaking to one another. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he looks up at me and says, “You know what? You’re a really positive, great person…and I seriously hope that the first time you get laid, it’s with this monster cock that knows how to give you a good time.” Let it also be known that the entire cast was in this room, and they all heard it. I’ve never been completely unable to react to something, but I was in that moment. It took me completely by surprise; and, though I know look back on it and life, I still consider it one of the strangest moments of my life.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, is this me? Do I surround myself with strange men, or bring out a weird side in them? Or are men just weird in general? And yet, despite all the weirdness of it, I can’t help but be flattered. I grew up around gorgeous women- my mother, my aunt, and my cousin- and always felt like the plain Jane among them. I never really thought I was anything special. And, though I do consider myself an independent woman, I still think it’s nice to be complimented every once and a while- even if the compliments are a tad out there. They give me a confidence boost. They make me think that maybe I’m not just a plain Jane. I’m aware this sounds a bit vain- like I’m some attention-loving whore- but it’s more than that. It’s okay to love being complimented, I think, because we should all love ourselves. So guys, keep complimenting us- even if you go about it in a really strange way. Deep down, I promise we appreciate it.
Amanda is the biggest Disney nerd you'll ever meet in your entire life. She also likes food, and tap dancing, and writing...writing's pretty cool too.