It’s hard to present your body as your own when there are people who try to stop you from modifying it or dressing it to your preferences - especially if these are people who matter to you. Do you just go ahead and get that tattoo of lyrics from your favorite song across your clavicle when your mom is going to have to see it every time you sit down to dinner? Is stretching your earlobes any larger a good idea when your dad had expressly stated that he thought they looked hideous?
I got my first tattoo when I was 15, which meant that it wasn't stellar work, seeing that I didn't have a lot of options. Luckily for me it didn't end up botched either. I was happy with it, and that’s all that mattered. It did mean, however, that I was required to hide it (and the subsequent ones) from my parents. I brought up the topic of tattoos once in awhile, expressing my interest in what I view as a beautiful way to memorialize a feeling, or a moment, or a significant change. My mom also had strong opinions about tattoos, none of them positive like mine. I remember every time she discovered a new one. There was the gasp which would stop me dead in my tracks, she’d grab my hands, and yank me by the wrist or pull my t-shirt up over my hip. Then, of course, the horrified questions: “When did you get that? Is that permanent? Why did you get a tattoo?”
She was, and remains, vehemently opposed to the idea of body modifications, citing several, slightly old-fashioned and unfair generalizations about them. In a slightly more conservative Asian culture, the older generation views people with tattoos as gangsters, or in my mother’s words, “unsavory characters”. Initially, I would roll my eyes and struggle to defend myself, which led to painful arguments, but as I got older I began to recognize her concerns.
I personally wouldn't have done anything differently, but I’m the kind of person whose decisions are dictated and directed by any strong feelings I have. I am excited whenever I get a tattoo, and I only get more attached to each one as time goes on. Beyond getting my mom to understand and respect my decision, it was important to me that I could make a choice about my own body without any interference. Bodily autonomy and integrity is something I am trying to achieve in my life, and I want to my physical appearance to be a reflection of this. I can’t imagine being without my tattoos, and I find that I feel more connected and happy with my body knowing that I had made a choice to place them there. While there is nothing wrong with getting tattoos for aesthetic purposes, my motivation is meaning-driven. My tattoos come with personal stories and significance.
All tattoos shown in this article are Taina's!
Taina Teravainen is a 21-year-old girlchild who loves tattoos and milk tea. She hails from the little island city of Singapore, and writes a lot about boys, feelings, and the search for home.