By Julia Roberto If I had to honestly tell someone what I think is my biggest personal flaw, I would probably have to say it is my sense of perfectionism.
In today’s society, especially at a school like Emerson, I think it’s really easy to misunderstand how much everyone truly overworks themselves. I know for me, personally, I find myself envying those who are clearly pushing themselves and working too hard. Perfectionism is seen as a generally positive thing, and those who stop their million activities to take a nap for an hour are the weak or the lazy.
This kind of thought process is something that I have battled with for years. I am unable to shake the idea that the less sleep I get, the more successful and hardworking I am. If I’m not “working hard enough”, I seem to think less of myself. I often wonder when I began to equate my self worth with my level of productivity.
This seems to be a common issue for a lot of college students. There is so much pressure to be the best and to do as many “things” as possible that it is easy to get down on yourself when you give yourself a break. There is so much competition with the college admission process that it is not really a surprise that we have all become anxiety ridden extra curricular zombies by time we have to graduate college and scour for a job.
I have thought about this a lot and I have decided on this: I truly believe that finding a way to take care of yourself and do what is best for your health and sanity is the most beautiful and pure form of self love that one can discover.
It’s absolutely ridiculous how hard it has become to be able to give myself the attention I deserve. I get caught caught up trying to proving myself as productive and hardworking so often that I become overrun, exhausted, and in a bad mood. I don’t like that version of myself. Yes, I am accomplishing something, but is it truly worth it in the long run?
It is a difficult balance to strike, which I think is why so many people struggle with the concept of self-care. Sometimes it is hard to lie down for an hour nap without sleeping the afternoon away and completely forgoing any obligations you had for the afternoon. It might be hard for some people to take a twenty minute break while doing homework because they worry about finding the motivation to begin again. However, self care requires a trust that you, as a person, are not lazy and worthless, and are deserving of breaks, and naps, and dessert, and sleeping in on weekends.
I think it’s time that I, as well as so many other people, begin to view their self worth as something that cannot be quantified simply by the amount of organizations I am a part of. I want to start measuring my self worth in the number of laughs in a day, the number of friends I was able to see, or the knowledge that I have done everything I can to take care of myself and the fact that I am a better person for it.
Julia Roberto is a sophomore Writing, Literature, and Publishing major. She’s low key obsessed with the Kennedy family and cheesecake.