Last Friday a couple of buddies and I went to go see the movie Gravity, directed by Alfonso Cuarón. It was playing in 3D and IMAX and we decided it would be a fun idea to get really fucking high before the movie since stoners can’t get enough of the beauty that is space. So, after smoking a handful of joints and bowls, we ventured over to the theater. The movie was an amazing experience and I’d recommend it to anyone, whether you’re sober or if high as space itself. Here are the top 25 high-as-fuck thoughts I had during Gravity.
- Fuck Clooney’s country music
- Of course the Indian dude went to Harvard and is a party animal and dies first.
- What would Neil Degrasse Tyson think?
6. Wait, does anyone else think George Clooney is the human version of Buzz Lightyear?!?
7. Because he is.
8. What would Neil Patrick Harris do?
9. George would hit on Sandra in space.
10. Clooney gotta shut da fuck up and not ask Sandra if she thinks he's attractive when her oxygen is only at 2%.
11. Now is not the time Casanova.
12. How funny would a Wayan’s brother version of this movie be.
13. Or a Tyler Perry movie... "Madea Goes to Space."
14. Sandra bullock moans seductively all the fucking time, whyyyy...
15. I wonder what George is thinking about, I’d think about sea otters. In space. Sea otters in soace.
16. What if he has to pee?
17. HOLD UP. Where are the MonStars from Space Jam?
18. Rando Chinese dude with dog and a baby who is singing a lullaby is talking over the mic to Sandra in the space pod...whatttttt?
19. WTF is this shit, what the shit is going on with this random Chinese guy.
20. How does he have Sandra’s number?
21. Seriously how da fuck did this Chinese dude find a way to talk to Sandra in space.
22.Why does that pen float some damn much, it’s been floating in like 5 different scenes.
21. So after Sandra escapes back to earth is that when she adopts/kidnaps the football player from The Blind Side and develops an accent or....?
22. I want Chinese food.
23. Sandra must have breathed in more smoke in the shuttle than Wiz does in a week.
25. I always wonder why I stopped wanting to be an astronaut. I shall never wonder again.
And now, for a brief quote from my friend who did not like the movie.
“The only gravity I felt was towards the exit.”