By Megan Cathey, Staff Writer, Emerson College
Noah (Ryan Gosling) in The Notebook hangs onto a Ferris wheel bar for dear life, all in the hopes that he’ll land a date with Allie (Rachel McAdams).
“Will you go out with me?”
“What? No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“Ok then you leave me no other choice.”
One of Noah’s hand slips from the bar. Panicked, Allie finally shouts, “Ok, ok! I’ll go out with you!”
Noah (Ryan Gosling) in The Notebook hangs onto a Ferris wheel bar for dear life, all in the hopes that he’ll land a date with Allie (Rachel McAdams).
“Will you go out with me?”
“What? No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“Ok then you leave me no other choice.”
One of Noah’s hand slips from the bar. Panicked, Allie finally shouts, “Ok, ok! I’ll go out with you!”
The Notebook is one of the most popular romance movies in the past decade. Girls (and some guys) swoon over the everlasting love between Noah and Allie. Although their relationship worked out, it doesn’t mean that continually asking out the girl of your dreams until she says yes will lead to a love like Allie and Noah’s. The problem with movies like The Notebook is that they encourage the idea that persistence is not only ok, but it’s romantic. People forget the fact that not only does Noah risk his life until Allie says yes to a date, but he does so when she is on a date with another guy.
If a girl went after a guy with another girl, she’d be called desperate, or slutty. When men are persistent, scoring a date with a woman is almost like a game. If you don’t get a “yes,” the first time around, try again. Maybe a crazy gesture like jumping onto a Ferris wheel will make her say yes! Movies and other parts of popular culture paint persistent guys as romantic, but in reality they breach women’s personal boundaries. Some guys may feel emasculated if a woman says no, but they have to realize it’s not the end of the world if a girl turns you down. Instead of incessantly bothering her, respect her space and leave her alone.
Persistence sometimes works in romance movies, but in real life, it can leave women feeling annoyed or creeped out. If a guy in real life threatened to kill himself until you said yes to a date, you wouldn’t find it cute or romantic; you’d most likely be terrified.
It’s one thing when Ryan Gosling in a newsboy hat begs for a date, but in reality it’s usually a skeevy guy at a party who won’t leave you alone. And why is “no, I don’t want to” not enough? “No” also has to be followed by an excuse. No, I’m here with friends. No, I have a boyfriend. Etc, etc. I’m saying “no” to you because I don’t want to! And asking me twenty times won’t change that.
We as a society need to stop romanticizing persistence. Guys need to realize that constantly pursuing a woman is not charming. It’s creepy. Although you singlehandedly cannot change the media, you can become aware of its problematic aspects. Both men and women should recognize how media (romance movies in particular) makes persistence seem like an acceptable aspect of dating, when it really isn’t.
Megan is a freshman Writing, Literature & Publishing major from sunny Scottsdale, Arizona. She enjoys red lipstick, kombucha, cats, and driving her Volkswagen Beetle named Sasha. She also pretends she's Marina & the Diamonds in her spare time. You can contact Megan on her Twitter or Facebook.
Images: New Line Cinema, Urbanette.com
Persistence sometimes works in romance movies, but in real life, it can leave women feeling annoyed or creeped out. If a guy in real life threatened to kill himself until you said yes to a date, you wouldn’t find it cute or romantic; you’d most likely be terrified.
It’s one thing when Ryan Gosling in a newsboy hat begs for a date, but in reality it’s usually a skeevy guy at a party who won’t leave you alone. And why is “no, I don’t want to” not enough? “No” also has to be followed by an excuse. No, I’m here with friends. No, I have a boyfriend. Etc, etc. I’m saying “no” to you because I don’t want to! And asking me twenty times won’t change that.
We as a society need to stop romanticizing persistence. Guys need to realize that constantly pursuing a woman is not charming. It’s creepy. Although you singlehandedly cannot change the media, you can become aware of its problematic aspects. Both men and women should recognize how media (romance movies in particular) makes persistence seem like an acceptable aspect of dating, when it really isn’t.
Megan is a freshman Writing, Literature & Publishing major from sunny Scottsdale, Arizona. She enjoys red lipstick, kombucha, cats, and driving her Volkswagen Beetle named Sasha. She also pretends she's Marina & the Diamonds in her spare time. You can contact Megan on her Twitter or Facebook.
Images: New Line Cinema, Urbanette.com