By Chelsea Roden, Staff Writer, Emerson College
When I first heard Macklemore/Ryan Lewis/Mary Lambert’s "Same Love," I was sitting with a couple friends in their dorm room. It was March, and we were talking about the Supreme Court cases and how Facebook was turning red with the Human Rights Campaign equality sign. As a Catholic lesbian, I've always grappled with the line between the way I was raised versus the way I love.
When I first heard Macklemore/Ryan Lewis/Mary Lambert’s "Same Love," I was sitting with a couple friends in their dorm room. It was March, and we were talking about the Supreme Court cases and how Facebook was turning red with the Human Rights Campaign equality sign. As a Catholic lesbian, I've always grappled with the line between the way I was raised versus the way I love.
“What case are the people against gay marriage setting up?” I asked. “What rights or privileges are they losing if a couple of the same-sex is allowed to unite and have the same marital benefits of a straight married couple?”
We talked about this for a while, and eventually one of my friends pulled up the “Same Love” music video on her laptop. Seven minutes later I was leaning on my other friend’s shoulder, trying not to cry and wondering why I was so emotional.
At first I thought it was just the video. Something about seeing older gay couples makes me tear up in awe, because:
As the semester drew on and dove into summer, I kept the song on repeat, focusing on Mary Lambert's chorus almost as a meditation and thinking about my girlfriend. I found Lambert’s original song “She Keeps Me Warm,” which made “Same Love” all the more powerful as I watched her sing basically a love song to her girlfriend. That combined with her experience as a gay teen who had a hard time coming out and doubting her Evangelical teachings as a child, the religious undertone of the song beats stronger for me even than the preaching words of Macklemore.
We talked about this for a while, and eventually one of my friends pulled up the “Same Love” music video on her laptop. Seven minutes later I was leaning on my other friend’s shoulder, trying not to cry and wondering why I was so emotional.
At first I thought it was just the video. Something about seeing older gay couples makes me tear up in awe, because:
- Old couples are adorable. There’s a pair that walks down the main street in my hometown while they hold hands- it’s so cute that I want to interview them and write short story after short story about their lives.
- It’s not something I regularly witness. It seems, even with the growing discussion about LGBTQ+ rights, the word gay evokes imagery of a well dressed, adorable couple comprised of attractive, middle aged men- not a pair older women sitting in a diner, ordering each other’s breakfast because they know each other inside and out.
As the semester drew on and dove into summer, I kept the song on repeat, focusing on Mary Lambert's chorus almost as a meditation and thinking about my girlfriend. I found Lambert’s original song “She Keeps Me Warm,” which made “Same Love” all the more powerful as I watched her sing basically a love song to her girlfriend. That combined with her experience as a gay teen who had a hard time coming out and doubting her Evangelical teachings as a child, the religious undertone of the song beats stronger for me even than the preaching words of Macklemore.
When I came home this summer, I played it while driving my siblings home from church. It blew my mind when I came home to Ohio and heard it on the radio in the car. Every time it was on, I would turn it up and crack the windows. Sometimes when I drove home I'd circle the neighborhood a couple times, just to listen to the entire thing. I wished it would come on when my mom was in the car, mostly to hear what she’d have to say about it.
In a CRWN interview, Macklemore spoke about what the popularity of “Same Love” means to him.
"The fact that ["Same Love"] is played on mainstream radio in America means that it is creating a dialogue," Macklemore said. "People are hearing the lyrics to this song about marriage equality. Whether you agree with it or you don’t agree with it, you are forced, until you turn that radio dial, to listen to it. Hopefully that leads to conversation. Hopefully that leads to dialogue. With that, I believe that change occurs. ‘Thrift Shop’ and ‘Can’t Hold Us’ were the catalysts and then ‘Same Love,’ which is, to me, in my heart, the most important song that I’ve ever written, got embraced by the masses."
It does produce dialog, for everyone. Macklemore discusses everything from the way music has been working against the movement, about the role of religion, about the struggle for LGBTQ+ activists and existing couples, about stereotyping, the kids “who would rather die than be who they are.” He hits home on everything.
However, most radio stations cut what I believe to be the most important part of the song: “love is patient, love is kind. I’m not crying on Sundays.”
It’s the last seconds of the song. Where the radio usually cuts it off after the last chorus, those who have the full version hear: “love is patient, love is kind.” This is a saying we've heard before, but many people can’t pinpoint where it comes from.
The line originates in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-7):
“Love is patient, love is kind. […] It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
When some religious people talk about gay marriage, they usually reference a couple of verses of outdated law and forget to teach verses about love at the same time. We see this all the time on the news and on our Twitter feeds. Some people are taught hate without love.
Some are taught love but intolerance. I live in a household where my parents religiously can’t accept their child’s sexual orientation, in the same way they can’t eat meat on Fridays during Lent. It’s part of the handbook. My parents love me. They worry about my sins, but they love me, because that’s what we’re taught in church.
When I’m home from school I have no choice but to attend mass. I’ve gone every Sunday, I even went after I took a hiatus from my house when I came out. But as any Catholic raised gay teen knows, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve left mass a couple times because it feels like my chest is caving in. I sit outside in the garden, staring at the statues which used to give me a feeling of security. I think about all the studying I did in high school, the stories and bible verses I thought about, and the times I used to pray.
I wonder how a book full of parables of love and acceptance turned into a volume of paper cuts and fear. And I’d look at a crucifix, thinking about where I stood with this God now, and thinking how glad I would be to have my girlfriend sitting in the garden with me (with a box of Kleenex).
So on the 2013 VMAs, when Mary Lambert and Jennifer Hudson sang "I’m not crying on Sundays," I was in tears. I know that exact feeling. They kept going, repeating the same phrase, and you can see the emotion in Mary’s face.
This directly follows that bible verse: (1 Corinthians 13:8):
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
Where there is knowledge, where there is dialog, where there is conversation, hate will pass away.
Love never fails.
Chelsea Roden is a Tetris champion and a Waffle House Regulars member. When she's not studying non-fiction writing, she's probably getting herself into dilemmas she can later write about. Her favorite activities include photoshopping cats into pictures, talking to her favorite German, and narrating her life to the melodies of Les Mis. She's still Big Red.
In a CRWN interview, Macklemore spoke about what the popularity of “Same Love” means to him.
"The fact that ["Same Love"] is played on mainstream radio in America means that it is creating a dialogue," Macklemore said. "People are hearing the lyrics to this song about marriage equality. Whether you agree with it or you don’t agree with it, you are forced, until you turn that radio dial, to listen to it. Hopefully that leads to conversation. Hopefully that leads to dialogue. With that, I believe that change occurs. ‘Thrift Shop’ and ‘Can’t Hold Us’ were the catalysts and then ‘Same Love,’ which is, to me, in my heart, the most important song that I’ve ever written, got embraced by the masses."
It does produce dialog, for everyone. Macklemore discusses everything from the way music has been working against the movement, about the role of religion, about the struggle for LGBTQ+ activists and existing couples, about stereotyping, the kids “who would rather die than be who they are.” He hits home on everything.
However, most radio stations cut what I believe to be the most important part of the song: “love is patient, love is kind. I’m not crying on Sundays.”
It’s the last seconds of the song. Where the radio usually cuts it off after the last chorus, those who have the full version hear: “love is patient, love is kind.” This is a saying we've heard before, but many people can’t pinpoint where it comes from.
The line originates in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-7):
“Love is patient, love is kind. […] It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
When some religious people talk about gay marriage, they usually reference a couple of verses of outdated law and forget to teach verses about love at the same time. We see this all the time on the news and on our Twitter feeds. Some people are taught hate without love.
Some are taught love but intolerance. I live in a household where my parents religiously can’t accept their child’s sexual orientation, in the same way they can’t eat meat on Fridays during Lent. It’s part of the handbook. My parents love me. They worry about my sins, but they love me, because that’s what we’re taught in church.
When I’m home from school I have no choice but to attend mass. I’ve gone every Sunday, I even went after I took a hiatus from my house when I came out. But as any Catholic raised gay teen knows, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve left mass a couple times because it feels like my chest is caving in. I sit outside in the garden, staring at the statues which used to give me a feeling of security. I think about all the studying I did in high school, the stories and bible verses I thought about, and the times I used to pray.
I wonder how a book full of parables of love and acceptance turned into a volume of paper cuts and fear. And I’d look at a crucifix, thinking about where I stood with this God now, and thinking how glad I would be to have my girlfriend sitting in the garden with me (with a box of Kleenex).
So on the 2013 VMAs, when Mary Lambert and Jennifer Hudson sang "I’m not crying on Sundays," I was in tears. I know that exact feeling. They kept going, repeating the same phrase, and you can see the emotion in Mary’s face.
This directly follows that bible verse: (1 Corinthians 13:8):
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
Where there is knowledge, where there is dialog, where there is conversation, hate will pass away.
Love never fails.
Chelsea Roden is a Tetris champion and a Waffle House Regulars member. When she's not studying non-fiction writing, she's probably getting herself into dilemmas she can later write about. Her favorite activities include photoshopping cats into pictures, talking to her favorite German, and narrating her life to the melodies of Les Mis. She's still Big Red.