By Anonymous, Staff Writer, Emerson College
I went to prison and lost my virginity in the same week. That’s right.
Okay, fine, I went to a non-functioning prison for a four-day film shoot and I lost my virginity with all my clothes on in my boyfriend’s basement while his parents were home, but I like my opening line better.
I was sitting in the car on the way home from prison (Michigan) really missing my boyfriend, who we’ll call “Josh.” Josh and I had been together for a few months and we had already said the “L” word with more honestly than you can imagine.
We had joked about sex before but established early on that we would wait until I was ready. Josh, being a seventeen-year-old boy, was pretty much always ready, but he wanted to be sure to respect my limits. I had a feeling that if I was going to “go all the way,” I would probably want it to be with him. But I never wanted it, I mean really and truly wanted it, until I was rolling over the Indiana Skyway watching the sunset from the passenger seat of my family’s station wagon.
The next day, Josh came to my house to pick me up. It was a hot summer afternoon and hadn’t seen each other in a little while, so we were anxious. He greeted me with a precious smile and a big hug and we drove off towards his house.
“I want to stop at Toys R Us first,” he said. “Don’t laugh.”
Perhaps I should mention that I’m dating a supergeek. I shop for his presents in the toy department of Target and we’re both pretty okay with that.
“Okay,” I said, smiling. “What for now?”
He explained that he needed some Pokémon booster packs (Supergeek. I wasn’t kidding) and asked if he could start a deck for me too. I agreed to the offer.
“You know, there’s a Walgreens right next door. Should we get some condoms too?” Josh joked.
“Sure, why not?”
Josh froze at the red light. His eyes got big and his smile fell.
“Wait, really?” he asked.
I assured him that I wasn’t just playing with his raging hormones. He squashed his nervous excitement, swallowing hard.
“Yeah, okay. That’s cool. We’ll pick ‘em up and then decide what you want to do, okay?”
After doing our damage at Toys R Us, we moved on to Walgreens. We had pockets full of Pokémon cards and no clue whatsoever.
“Those say ‘Her Pleasure.’ That’s good, right?”
“I don’t know, Josh.”
He smiled and slid his arm around my waist. “I want this to be about you, okay? So if that means getting the purple ribbed ones, so be it.”
We decided on the ones intended for my pleasure, not knowing what else we would have done. Josh made awkward banter with the elderly cashier as he paid for the little purple box and we ran to his car. Then we got back to his house and he took my Pokémon virginity. It was actually more fun than I expected.
We danced around the obvious for awhile, until Josh broke the ice (not the only thing he broke that evening). “So… any thoughts on the stuff we bought?”
“I want to,” I said, smiling. “I’m sure.”
He let out a nervous sigh.
“Do you?” I asked.
“Obviously. Let me turn on ‘Lord of the Rings Conquest’ so my parents don’t hear anything.” He loaded up the Xbox as he had done so many times before and I got a shiny purple condom package out of the plastic shopping bag.
It was awkward. We had no idea what we were doing. It hurt like mad. There was Lord of the Rings music underscoring the whole terribly adolescent endeavor. I had replaced my “V-card” with some brand new Pokémon playing cards. To anyone else, the experience might sound like the punch line for a tasteless Superbad-esque joke.
But I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Nearly two years later, Josh and I are still going strong. We’re just as nerdy and not quite as awkward. We’ve come a long way in terms of getting’ it on, but it has never stopped being as special as it was the first time.
And I wish a first time this special to everyone.
Different foreplay, maybe, but all the same sentiment.
I went to prison and lost my virginity in the same week. That’s right.
Okay, fine, I went to a non-functioning prison for a four-day film shoot and I lost my virginity with all my clothes on in my boyfriend’s basement while his parents were home, but I like my opening line better.
I was sitting in the car on the way home from prison (Michigan) really missing my boyfriend, who we’ll call “Josh.” Josh and I had been together for a few months and we had already said the “L” word with more honestly than you can imagine.
We had joked about sex before but established early on that we would wait until I was ready. Josh, being a seventeen-year-old boy, was pretty much always ready, but he wanted to be sure to respect my limits. I had a feeling that if I was going to “go all the way,” I would probably want it to be with him. But I never wanted it, I mean really and truly wanted it, until I was rolling over the Indiana Skyway watching the sunset from the passenger seat of my family’s station wagon.
The next day, Josh came to my house to pick me up. It was a hot summer afternoon and hadn’t seen each other in a little while, so we were anxious. He greeted me with a precious smile and a big hug and we drove off towards his house.
“I want to stop at Toys R Us first,” he said. “Don’t laugh.”
Perhaps I should mention that I’m dating a supergeek. I shop for his presents in the toy department of Target and we’re both pretty okay with that.
“Okay,” I said, smiling. “What for now?”
He explained that he needed some Pokémon booster packs (Supergeek. I wasn’t kidding) and asked if he could start a deck for me too. I agreed to the offer.
“You know, there’s a Walgreens right next door. Should we get some condoms too?” Josh joked.
“Sure, why not?”
Josh froze at the red light. His eyes got big and his smile fell.
“Wait, really?” he asked.
I assured him that I wasn’t just playing with his raging hormones. He squashed his nervous excitement, swallowing hard.
“Yeah, okay. That’s cool. We’ll pick ‘em up and then decide what you want to do, okay?”
After doing our damage at Toys R Us, we moved on to Walgreens. We had pockets full of Pokémon cards and no clue whatsoever.
“Those say ‘Her Pleasure.’ That’s good, right?”
“I don’t know, Josh.”
He smiled and slid his arm around my waist. “I want this to be about you, okay? So if that means getting the purple ribbed ones, so be it.”
We decided on the ones intended for my pleasure, not knowing what else we would have done. Josh made awkward banter with the elderly cashier as he paid for the little purple box and we ran to his car. Then we got back to his house and he took my Pokémon virginity. It was actually more fun than I expected.
We danced around the obvious for awhile, until Josh broke the ice (not the only thing he broke that evening). “So… any thoughts on the stuff we bought?”
“I want to,” I said, smiling. “I’m sure.”
He let out a nervous sigh.
“Do you?” I asked.
“Obviously. Let me turn on ‘Lord of the Rings Conquest’ so my parents don’t hear anything.” He loaded up the Xbox as he had done so many times before and I got a shiny purple condom package out of the plastic shopping bag.
It was awkward. We had no idea what we were doing. It hurt like mad. There was Lord of the Rings music underscoring the whole terribly adolescent endeavor. I had replaced my “V-card” with some brand new Pokémon playing cards. To anyone else, the experience might sound like the punch line for a tasteless Superbad-esque joke.
But I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Nearly two years later, Josh and I are still going strong. We’re just as nerdy and not quite as awkward. We’ve come a long way in terms of getting’ it on, but it has never stopped being as special as it was the first time.
And I wish a first time this special to everyone.
Different foreplay, maybe, but all the same sentiment.